许多父母都努力工作，或许是为了避免失败，或许是为了不让自己的孩子知道他们失败过。有一种办法是降低标准，一位母亲将自己孩子匆匆做成的桌子说成是“完美的”，即使这张桌子在不均衡桌腿的支撑下摇晃不稳。另一种办法是“嫁祸”，如果约翰考试没过，那他父母就会认为他的老师是不公平的或愚蠢的。
这些防止失败的策略所带来的麻烦是，他们没能使孩子在这个真实的世界里作好独立生活的准备。年轻人需要知道，没有谁能在各方面都做到最好，没有谁总能获胜--即使你没有获胜，你也可以享受这场比赛。一个没有受到生日宴会邀请、没有上光荣榜或进入棒球队的孩子，他会感到很沮丧，这是当然的。但是父母不应该给他们一个快速安慰奖励或者说“这都没关系的”，事实上并不是没关系。应该允许年轻人经历失望，并且让他们在帮助下学会控制它。
失败不可能使人愉快，它会伤害到成年人，同样也会伤害到孩子。但是，一旦你学会运用它，它就能对你的生活有积极的贡献。第一步是问：“为什么我会失败？”不要受到本性冲动的影响去责备别人。问问自己到底做错了什么，如何才能改进。如果有人帮助你，就不要羞于请教。成功，会激发人们重复自己的行为，根本没有失败能教给人的东西多。你可以从一场糟糕的宴会上学会如何办一场成功的宴会。从第一次失败的选房经历中学会如何寻找第二个。明确的失败甚至能够使人涌现出新的想法，改变方向。我的一个朋友在学了12年芭蕾舞之后去了一家专业公司进行面试。她被拒绝了。“我还需要进一步接受培训吗？”她问。芭蕾舞教练摇了摇头。“你不可能成为一名舞蹈演员，”他说，“你不是块跳芭蕾舞的材料。”
在这样的情况下，利用失败的方法是勇敢地进行自我总结，问问：“我还剩下什么？我还可以做什么？”我的朋友收好了她的芭蕾舞鞋，然后转而从事舞蹈治疗，这是一个对她来说很在行也很实用的领域。失败可以让人不必再去冒险，因为失败的人几乎没有什么可以再失去的了。通常，失败还会让人的精力复苏，认知到一些新的可能性。
Problems or Opportunities 是困难还是机遇
We live in an unusual time with corporate downsizing，restructuring， and the increase in global competition. Some view these times as problematic；others see the incredible opportunities created by such change.
In the last decade there has been a huge growth in home-based and service-industry businesses. These businesses have been started by individuals with the courage to pursue their dreams，Yet，for every idea that is implemented，thousands of ideas never get beyond the conceptual stage- from the imagination to a plan of action.
What holds people back from pursuing their dreams and acting on their great ideas？ I believe it‘s fear of failure. Someone once said，“there are a lot of ways to become a failure，but never taking a chance is the most successful way.”I’ve also heard it said that，“people don‘t plan to fail，they fail to plan.”
Companies these days must be willing and able to change constantly.
Sometimes companies change course to survive，and sometimes they do so because an opportunity is too good to resist. I know of a small company that provided a messenger service several years ago. A sudden major increase in corporate use of fax machines nearly put this small company out of business. Fortunately，the owner of the company was astute enough to realize other global corporate trends happening at the same time. The owner shifted gears from offering a messenger service to providing an off site records storage service and soon business was booming once again.
It all comes down to perspective. When there was a downturn in the economy，some people could say，“This is terrible！ With the downturn in the economy，nobody will have a budget for my service.”Or others thought，“This is great！ With the tightening of budgets and the loss of support staff，there’s an even greater need for professionals to be effective，which is precisely what I‘m here to help them do！”
积极的人在每一次忧患中都看到一个机会，而消极的人则在每个机会中都看到某种忧患。
参考翻译（胡尊艳）
我们生活在一个非比寻常的时代，企业进行精简和重组，全球竞争也在不断加剧。很多人认为这是个困难重重的时代，但是有些人却认为这样的时代会带来无限的、难以置信的商机。
在过去的十年中，家族企业和服务企业大量涌现。这些企业主要是由那些敢于追逐梦想的人士开创的。然而，所有得以实行的创意都经历了反反复复的修改。
是什么阻碍了人们追求和实现梦想的道路呢？我认为是对失败的恐惧。有人曾经说过，“导致失败的原因有很多，而不敢冒险是最彻底的一个。”我也听说过这样一句话：“非败于计划，而是败在没有计划。”
当今的公司必须不断地、主动地进行变革。有时变革是出于生存的需要，有时是因为难以抗拒绝佳机会的诱惑。我认识一个几年前提供信使服务的小公司，企业传真机的大量使用几乎使这个小公司濒临破产，幸运的是，该公司的老板很精明，他敏锐地觉察到了当时出现的另外一些国际商业趋势，并将公司的业务从提供信使服务转为提供场外记录存储服务，很快企业便重新焕发出生机。
态度决定一切。当经济低迷时，有些人会抱怨，“太糟了，经济这么不景气，没有人会出钱雇用我了。”而有些人则会认为，“太好了，随着预算的收紧和员工的精简，就会急需大量的专业人员，这正是我一展宏图的好机会啊！”
There Are No Mistakes， Only Lessons 没有错误，只有教训Human growth is a process of experimentation，trial，and error， ultimately leading to wisdom. Each time you choose to trust yourself and take action，you can never quite be certain how the situation will turn out. Sometimes you are victorious，and sometimes you become disillusioned. The failed experiments，however，are no less valuable than the experiments that ultimately prove successful；in fact，you usually learn more from your perceived“failures”than you do from your perceived “success”.
If you have made what you perceive to be a mistake or failed to live up to your own expectations，you will most likely put up a barrier between your essence and the part of you that is the alleged wrong-doer. However，perceiving past actions as mistakes implies guilt and blame， and it is not possible to learn anything meaning while you are engaged in blaming. Therefore，forgiveness is required when you are harshly judging yourself.
Forgiveness is the act of erasing an emotional debt. There are four kinds of forgiveness.
The first is beginner forgiveness for yourself.
The second of forgiveness is beginner forgiveness for another.
The third kind of forgiveness is advanced forgiveness of yourself. This is for serious transgressions，the ones you carry with deep shame. When you do something that violates your own values and ethics，you create a chasm between your standards and your actual behavior. In such a case，you need to work very hard at forgiving yourself for these deeds so that you call close this chasm and realign with the best part of yourself. This does not mean that you should rush to forgive yourself or not feel regret or remorse；but wallowing in these feelings for a protracted period of time is not healthy，and punishing yourself excessively will only creates a bigger gap between you and your ethics.
The last and perhaps most difficult one is the advanced forgiveness of another. At some time of our life，you may have been severely wronged or hurt by another person to such a degree that forgiveness seems impossible. However，harboring resentment and revenge fantasies only keeps you trapped in victimhood. Under such a circumstance，you should force yourself to see the bigger picture，by so doing，you will be able to shift the focus away from the anger and resentment. It is only through forgiveness that you can erase wrongdoing and clean the memory. When you can finally release the situation，you may come to see it as a necessary part of your growth.
从成功中你可以学到东西，但事实上，你通常可以从失败中学到更多。
参考译文（彭琪淋）
