“One night when I beat Paisley to the bench by onepipeful， my friendship gets subsidised for a minute， andI asks Mrs. Jessup if she didn’t think a ‘H’ was easier towrite than a ‘J.’ In a second her head was mashing theoleander flower in my button-hole， and I leaned overand—but I didn’t.
“‘If you don’t mind，’ says I， standing up， ‘we’ll wait forPaisley to come before finishing this. I’ve never doneanything dishonourable yet to our friendship， and this won’tbe quite fair.’
“‘Mr. Hicks，’ says Mrs. Jessup， looking at me peculiar inthe dark， ‘if it wasn’t for but one thing， I’d ask you to hikeyourself down the gulch and never disresume your visits tomy house.’
“‘And what is that， ma’am？’ I asks.
“‘You are too good a friend not to make a good husband，’
says she.
“In five minutes Paisley was on his side of Mrs. Jessup.
“‘In Silver City， in the summer of ’98，’ he begins， ‘I seeJim Batholomew chew off a Chinaman’s ear in the BlueLight Saloon on account of a crossbarred muslin shirtthat—what was that noise？’
“I had resumed matters again with Mrs. Jessup rightwhere we had left off.
“‘Mrs. Jessup，’ says I， ‘has promised to make it Hicks.
And this is another of the same sort.’
“Paisley winds his feet round a leg of the bench and kindof groans.
“‘Lem，’ says he， ‘we been friends for seven years. Wouldyou mind not kissing Mrs. Jessup quite so loud？ I’d do thesame for you.’
“‘All right，’ says I. ‘The other kind will do as well.’
“‘This Chinaman，’ goes on Paisley， ‘was the one that shota man named Mullins in the spring of ’97， and that was—’
“Paisley interrupted himself again.
“‘Lem，’ says he， ‘if you was a true friend you wouldn’thug Mrs. Jessup quite so hard. I felt the bench shake allover just then. You know you told me you would give mean even chance as long as there was any.’
“‘Mr. Man，’ says Mrs. Jessup， turning around to Paisley，‘if you was to drop in to the celebration of mine and Mr.
Hicks’s silver wedding， twenty-five years from now， do youthink you could get it into that Hubbard squash you callyour head that you are nix cum rous in this business？ I’veput up with you a long time because you was Mr. Hicks’sfriend； but it seems to me it’s time for you to wear thewillow and trot off down the hill.’
“‘Mrs. Jessup，’ says I， without losing my grasp on thesituation as fiance， ‘Mr. Paisley is my friend， and I offeredhim a square deal and a equal opportunity as long as therewas a chance.’
“‘A chance！’ says she. ‘Well， he may think he has a chance；but I hope he won’t think he’s got a cinch， after what he’sbeen next to all the evening.’
“Well， a month afterwards me and Mrs. Jessup wasmarried in the Los Pinos Methodist Church； and thewhole town closed up to see the performance.
“When we lined up in front and the preacher wasbeginning to sing out his rituals and observances， I looksaround and misses Paisley. I calls time on the preacher.
‘Paisley ain’t here，’ says I. ‘We’ve got to wait for Paisley. Afriend once， a friend always—that’s Telemachus Hicks，’
says I. Mrs. Jessup’s eyes snapped some； but the preacherholds up the incantations according to instructions.
“In a few minutes Paisley gallops up the aisle， puttingon a cuff as he comes. He explains that the only dry-goodsstore in town was closed for the wedding， and he couldn’tget the kind of a boiled shirt that his taste called for untilhe had broke open the back window of the store andhelped himself. Then he ranges up on the other side of thebride， and the wedding goes on. I always imagined thatPaisley calculated as a last chance that the preacher mightmarry him to the widow by mistake.
“After the proceedings was over we had tea and jerkedantelope and canned apricots， and then the populacehiked itself away. Last of all Paisley shook me by the handand told me I’d acted square and on the level with him andhe was proud to call me a friend.
“The preacher had a small house on the side of thestreet that he’d fixed up to rent； and he allowed me andMrs. Hicks to occupy it till the ten-forty train the nextmorning， when we was going on a bridal tour to El Paso.
His wife had decorated it all up with hollyhocks andpoison ivy， and it looked real festal and bowery.
“About ten o’clock that night I sets down in the frontdoor and pulls off my boots a while in the cool breeze，while Mrs. Hicks was fixing around in the room. Rightsoon the light went out inside； and I sat there a whilereverberating over old times and scenes. And then I heardMrs. Hicks call out， ‘Ain’t you coming in soon， Lem？’
“‘Well， well！’ says I， kind of rousing up. ‘Durn me if Iwasn’t waiting for old Paisley to—’
“But when I got that far，” concluded Telemachus Hicks，“I thought somebody had shot this left ear of mine offwith a forty-five. But it turned out to be only a lick from abroomhandle in the hands of Mrs. Hicks.”
