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第111章 How To Cure Melancholy in Fourteen Days(2)

What was the chief difference between Dr. Loope and a lot ofother people? Just this: Dr. Loope had the inner glow of a manwith a purpose, a mission. He had the joy of knowing that hewas being used by an idea far nobler and more significant thanhimself, instead of being as Shaw put it: “a selfcentred, little clodof ailments and grievances complaining that the world would notdevote itself to making him happy.”

Here is the most astonishing statement that I ever read fromthe pen of a great psychiatrist. This statement was made by AlfredAdler. He used to say to his melancholia patients: “You can becured in fourteen days if you follow this preion. Try to thinkevery day how you can please someone.”

That statement sounds so incredible that I feel I ought to tryto explain it by quoting a couple of pages from Dr. Adler’s splendidbook, What Life Should Mean to You.

“Melancholia,” says Adler in What Life Should Mean to You:

“is like a long-continued rage and reproach against others, thoughfor the purpose of gaining care, sympathy and support, the patientseems only to be dejected about his own guilt. A melancholiac’s firstmemory is generally something like this: ‘I remember I wanted to lieon the couch, but my brother was lying there. I cried so much that hehad to leave.’

“Melancholiacs are often inclined to revenge themselves bycommitting suicide, and the doctor’s first care is to avoid giving theman excuse for suicide. I myself try to relieve the whole tension byproposing to them, as the first rule in treatment, ‘Never do anythingyou don’t like.’ this seems to be very modest, but I believe that itgoes to the root of the whole trouble If a melancholiac is able to doanything he wants, whom can he accuse? What has he got to revengehimself for? ‘If you want to go to the theatre,’ I tell him, ‘or to go on aholiday, do it. If you find on the way that you don’t want to, stop it.’ Itis the best situation anyone could be in. It gives a satisfaction to hisstriving for superiority. He is like God and can do what he pleases.

On the other hand, it does not fit very easily into his style of life.

He wants to dominate and accuse others and if they agree with himthere is no way of dominating them. This rule is a great relief and Ihave never had a suicide among my patients.

“Generally the patient replies: ‘But there is nothing I like doing.’ Ihave prepared for this answer, because I have heard it so often. ‘thenrefrain from doing anything you dislike,’ I say. Sometimes, however,he will reply: ‘I should like to stay in bed all day.’ I know that, if I allowit, he will no longer want to do it. I know that, if I hinder him, he willstart a war. I always agree.

“This is one rule. Another attacks their style of life more directly.

I tell them: ‘You can be cured in fourteen days if you follow thispreion. Try to think every day how you can please someone.’

See what this means to them. They are occupied with the thought.

‘How can I worry someone.’ the answers are very interesting. Somesay: ‘this will be very easy for me. I have done it all my life.’ they havenever done it. I ask them to think it over. They do not think it over. Itell them: ‘You can make use of all the time you spend when you areunable to go to sleep by thinking how you can please someone, and itwill be a big step forward in your health.’ When I see them next day,I ask them: ‘did you think over what I suggested?’ they answer: ‘Last night I went to sleep as soon as I got to bed.’ All this must be done, ofcourse, in a modest, friendly manner, without a hint of superiority.

“Others will answer: ‘I could never do it. I am so worried.’ I tellthem:‘don’t stop worrying; but at the same time you can think nowand then of others.’ I want to direct their interest always towardstheir fellows. Many say:‘Why should I please others? Others donot try to please me.’‘You must think of your health,’ I answer. Theothers will suffer later on. It is extremely rare that I have found apatient who said: ‘I have thought over what you suggested.’ All myefforts are devoted towards increasing the social interest of thepatient. I know that the real reason for his malady is his lack of cooperationand I want him to see it too. As soon as he can connecthimself with his fellow men on an equal and cooperative footing, heis cured.... The most important task imposed by religion has alwaysbeen ‘Love thy neighbour’.... It is the individual who is not interestedin his fellow man who has the greatest difficulties in life and providesthe greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals thatall human failures spring.... All that we demand of a human being,and the highest praise we can give him is that he should be a goodfellow worker, a friend to all other men, and a true partner in loveand marriage.”

Dr. Adler urges us to do a good deed every day. And what is agood deed? “A good deed,” said the prophet Mohammed, “is onethat brings a smile of joy to the face of another.”

Why will doing a good deed every day produce such astoundingefforts on the doer? Because trying to please others will cause usto stop thinking of ourselves: the very thing that produces worryand fear and melancholia.

Mrs. William T. Moon, who operates the Moon SecretarialSchool, 521 Fifth Avenue, New York, didn’t have to spend twoweeks thinking how she could please someone in order to banishher melancholy. She went Alfred Adler one better—no, she went Adler thirteen better. She banished her melancholy, not infourteen days, but in one day, by thinking how she could please acouple of orphans.It happened like this:

“In December, five years ago,” said Mrs. Moon, “I was engulfedin a feeling of sorrow and self-pity. After several years of happymarried life, I had lost my husband. As the Christmas holidaysapproached, my sadness deepened. I had never spent a Christmasalone in all my life; and I dreaded to see this Christmas come.

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