PRINCIPLE 5：
Get the other person saying “yes， yes” immediately.
Must people trying to win others to their way of thinking dotoo much talking themselves. Let the other people talk themselvesout. They know more about their business and problems than youdo. So ask them questions. Let them tell you a few things.
If you disagree with them you may be tempted to interrupt.
But don’t. It is dangerous. They won’t pay attention to you whilethey still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for expression.
So listen patiently and with an open mind. Be sincere about it.
Encourage them to express their ideas fully.
Does this policy pay in business？ Let’s see. Here is the story ofa sales representative who was forced to try it.
One of the largest automobile manufacturers in the UnitedStates was negotiating for a year’s requirements of upholsteryfabrics. Three important manufacturers had worked up fabricsin sample bodies. These had all been inspected by the executivesof the motor company， and notice had been sent to eachmanufacturer saying that， on a certain day， a representative fromeach supplier would be given an opportunity to make a final pleafor the contract.
G.B.R.， a representative of one manufacturer， arrived in townwith a severe attack of laryngitis. “When it came my turn to meetthe executives in conference，” Mr. R—said as he related the storybefore one of my classes， “I had lost my voice. I could hardlywhisper. I was ushered into a room and found myself face toface with the textile engineer， the purchasing agent， the director of sales and the president of the company. I stood up and madea valiant effort to speak， but I couldn’t do anything more thansqueak.
“They were all seated around a table， so I wrote on a pad ofpaper： ‘Gentlemen， I have lost my voice. I am speechless.’
“ ‘I’ll do the talking for you，’ the president said. He did. Heexhibited my samples and praised their good points. A livelydiscussion arose about the merits of my goods. And the president，since he was talking for me， took the position I would have hadduring the discussion My sole participation consisted of smiles，nods and a few gestures.
“As a result of this unique conference， I was awarded thecontract， which called for over half a million yards of upholsteryfabrics at an aggregate value of？ 1，600，000—the biggest order Ihad ever received.
“I know I would have lost the contract if I hadn’t lost my voice，because I had the wrong idea about the whole proposition. Idiscovered， quite by accident， how richly it sometimes pays to letthe other person do the talking.”
Even our friends would much rather talk to us about theirachievements than listen to us boast about ours. La Rochefoucauld，the French philosopher， said：“If you want enemies， excel yourfriends； but if you want friends， let your friends excel you.”
Why is that true？ Because when our friends excel us， they feelimportant； but when we excel them， they—or at least some ofthem—will feel inferior and envious.
