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第51章 Let the Other Person Save Face

PRINCIPLE 4:

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Years ago the General Electric Company was faced with thedelicate task of removing Charles Steinmetz from the head of adepartment. Steinmetz, a genius of the first magnitude when itcame to electricity, was a failure as the head of the calculatingdepartment. Yet the company didn’t dare offend the man. Hewas indispensable—and highly sensitive. So they gave him a newtitle. They made him Consulting Engineer of the General ElectricCompany—a new title for work he was already doing—and letsomeone else head up the department.

Steinmetz was happy.

So were the officers of G. E. They had gently maneuvered theirmost temperamental star, and they had done it without a storm—by letting him save face.

Letting one save face! How important, how vitally importantthat is! And how few of us ever stop to think of it! We rideroughshod over the feelings of others, getting our own way,finding fault, issuing threats, criticizing a child or an employeein front of others, without even considering the hurt to the otherperson’s pride. Whereas a few minutes’ thought, a considerateword or two, a genuine understanding of the other person’sattitude, would go so far toward alleviating the sting!

Let’s remember that the next time we are faced with thedistasteful necessity of discharging or reprimanding an employee.

“Firing employees is not much fun. Getting fired is even lessfun.” (I’m quoting now from a letter written me by Marshall A.

Granger, a certified public accountant.) “Our business is mostlyseasonal. Therefore we have to let a lot of people go after theincome tax rush is over.It’s a byword in our profession that no oneenjoys wielding the ax. Consequently, the custom has developed ofgetting it over as soon as possible, and usually in the following way:

‘sit down, Mr. Smith. The season’s over, and we don’t seem to seeany more assignments for you. Of course, you understood you wereonly employed for the busy season anyhow, etc., etc.’

“The effect on these people is one of disappointment and afeeling of being ‘let down.’ Most of them are in the accountingfield for life, and they retain no particular love for the firm thatdrops them so casually.

“I recently decided to let our seasonal personnel go with alittle more tact and consideration. So I call each one in only aftercarefully thinking over his or her work during the winter. AndI’ve said something like this: ‘Mr. Smith, you’ve done a fine job(if he has). That time we sent you to Newark, you had a toughassignment. You were on the spot, but you came through withflying colors, and we want you to know the firm is proud of you.

You’ve got the stuff—you’re going a long way, wherever you’reworking. This firm believes in you, and is rooting for you, and wedon’t want you to forget it.’

“Effect? The people go away feeling a lot better about beingfired. They don’t feel ‘let down.’ They know if we had work forthem, we’d keep them on. And when we need them again, theycome to us with a keen personal affection.”

At one session of our course, two class members discussedthe negative effects of faultfinding versus the positive effects ofletting the other person save face.

Fred Clark of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, told of an incidentthat occurred in his company:

“At one of our production meetings, a vice president wasasking very pointed questions of one of our production supervisorsregarding a production process. His tone of voice was aggressiveand aimed at pointing out faulty performance on the part of thesupervisor. Not wanting to be embarrassed in front of his peers,the supervisor was evasive in his responses. This caused the vicepresident to lose his temper, berate the supervisor and accusehim of lying.

“Any working relationship that might have existed prior to thisencounter was destroyed in a few brief moments. This supervisor,who was basically a good worker, was useless to our companyfrom that time on. A few months later he left our firm and went towork for a competitor, where I understand he is doing a fine job.”

Another class member, Anna Mazzone, related how a similarincident had occurred at her job—but what a difference inapproach and results! Ms. Mazzone, a marketing specialist fora food packer, was given her first major assignment—the testmarketingof a new product. She told the class: “When the resultsof the test came in, I was devastated. I had made a serious error inmy planning, and the entire test had to be done all over again. Tomake this worse, I had no time to discuss it with my boss beforethe meeting in which I was to make my report on the project.

“When I was called on to give the report, I was shaking withfright. I had all I could do to keep from breaking down, but Iresolved I would not cry and have all those men make remarksabout women not being able to handle a management job becausethey are too emotional. I made my report briefly and stated thatdue to an error I would repeat the study before the next meeting.

I sat down, expecting my boss to blow up.

“Instead, he thanked me for my work and remarked that it wasnot unusual for a person to make an error on a new project and that he had confidence that the repeat survey would be accurateand meaningful to the company. He assured me, in front of allmy colleagues, that he had faith in me and I knew I had done mybest, and that my lack of experience, not my lack of ability, wasthe reason for the failure.

“I left that meeting with my head in the air and with thedetermination that I would never let that boss of mine downagain.”

Even if we are right and the other person is definitely wrong,we only destroy ego by causing someone to lose face.

A real leader will always follow ...

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