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第8章 The Big Secret of Dealing With People(3)

Rockefeller’s success in handling men. For example, when one of his partners, Edward T. Bedford, lost a million dollars for the firmby a bad buy in South America, John D. might have criticized; buthe knew Bedford had done his best—and the incident was closed.

So Rockefeller found something to praise; he congratulatedBedford because he had been able to save 60 percent of themoney he had invested. “That’s splendid,” said Rockefeller. “Wedon’t always do as well as that upstairs.”

I have among my clippings a story that I know never happened,but it illustrates a truth, so I’ll repeat it:

According to this silly story, a farm woman, at the end of aheavy day’s work, set before her menfolks a heaping pile of hay.

And when they indignantly demanded whether she had gonecrazy, she replied: “Why, how did I know you’d notice? I’ve beencooking for you men for the last twenty years and in all that timeI ain’t heard no word to let me know you wasn’t just eating hay.”

When a study was made a few years ago on runaway wives,what do you think was discovered to be the main reason wivesran away? It was “lack of appreciation.”

And I’d bet that a similar study made of runaway husbandswould come out the same way. We often take our spouses so muchfor granted that we never let them know we appreciate them.

A member of one of our classes told of a request made byhis wife. She and a group of other women in her church wereinvolved in a self-improvement program. She asked her husbandto help her by listing six things he believed she could do tohelp her become a better wife. He reported to the class: “I wassurprised by such a request. Frankly, it would have been easyfor me to list six things I would like to change about her—myheavens, she could have listed a thousand things she would like tochange about me—but I didn’t. I said to her, ‘Let me think aboutit and give you an answer in the morning.’

“The next morning I got up very early and called the floristand had them send six red roses to my wife with a note saying: ‘Ican’t think of six things I would like to change about you. I loveyou the way you are.’

“When I arrived at home that evening, who do you thinkgreeted me at the door: That’s right. My wife! She was almost intears. Needless to say, I was extremely glad I had not criticizedher as she had requested.

“The following Sunday at church, after she had reportedthe results of her assignment, several women with whom shehad been studying came up to me and said, ‘That was the mostconsiderate thing I have ever heard.’ It was then I realized thepower of appreciation.”

Florenz Ziegfeld, the most spectacular producer who everdazzled Broadway, gained his reputation by his subtle ability to“glorify the American girl.” Time after time, he took drab littlecreatures that no one ever looked at twice and transformed themon the stage into glamorous visions of mystery and seduction.

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