佚名/Anonymous
专注于我们想得到的，而不是我们所拥有的，这是我见过的一种最具普遍性和破坏性的心理趋向。我们拥有多少，似乎并无太大区别，我们欲望的清单不断扩充，使我们永远不满足。“我实现了这个愿望就会快乐。”一旦这个欲望得到满足，以后还会出现相同的欲求心理。我们想要这个或那个。如果得不到，就会不断地去想那些没有的东西，总是感到不满足。如果得到了，在新的条件下，我们又产生同样的心理。所以，尽管我们得到了，还是不开心。如果我们一味地渴求新的欲望，将无法找到幸福。
幸运的是，我们想要获得幸福，有这样一种方法：转换我们思考的重心，从想要的转移到拥有的。我们可以试着去想伴侣的可贵品质，而不去希求他该如何与现在不同；可以为自己拥有一份工作充满感激，而不去抱怨薪水太低；可以设想闭门在家的种种乐趣，而不是渴望去夏威夷度假。可以这样去考虑的事物无穷无尽！一旦你意识到自己又陷入这个思维陷阱——“我希望生活不是这样”时，要退后一步，重新思考，深呼吸，想想你所拥有的。这样，感激之情便会油然而生。当你关注的不再是自己想要的，而是所拥有的时候，你最终得到的一定会比想要的更多；如果你关注伴侣的优秀品德，他就会更可爱；如果你对工作充满感激，而不是抱怨，你会做得更好，工作效率更高，薪水也可能提高；如果你在家能自得其乐，而不是等着去夏威夷享受，你会找到更多的乐趣。假设你真的去了夏威夷，往往会更快乐。即使因为某种偶然没能去成，仍然会过得开心。记住，从现在开始，多想想你拥有的，而不是你想要的。如果你这样做，你的生活就会比以前更美好，那种感受或许是你生命中的第一次，你将会懂得心满意足的含义。
One of the most pervasive and destructive mental tendencies I’ve seen is that of focusing on what we want instead of what we have.It doesn’t seem to make any difference how much we have；we just keep expanding our list of desires，which guarantees we will remain dissatisfied.The mind-set that says“I’ll be happy when this desire is fulfilled”is the same mind-set that will repeat itself once that desire is met.We want this or that.If we don’t get what we want，we keep thinking about all that we don’t have and we remain dissatisfied.If we do get what we want，we simply recreate the same thinking in our new circumstances.So，despite getting what we want，we still remain unhappy.Happiness can’t be found when we are yearning for new desires.Luckily，there is a way to be happy.It involves changing the emphasis of our thinking from what we want to what we have.Rather than wishing your spouse was different，try thinking about its wonderful qualities.
Instead of complaining about your salary，be grateful that you have a job.Rather than wishing you were able to take a vacation to Hawaii，think of how much fun you have had close to home.The list of possibilities is endless！Each time you notice yourself falling into the“I wish life were different”trap，back off and start over.Take a breath and remember all that you have to be grateful.When you focus not on what you want，but on what you have，you end up getting more of what you want anyway.If you focus on the good qualities of your spouse，it’ll be more loving.If you are grateful for your job rather than complaining about it，you’ll do a better job，be more productive，and probably end up getting a raise anyway.If you focus on ways to enjoy yourself around home rather than waiting to enjoy yourself in Hawaii，you’ll end up having more fun.If you ever do get to
Hawaii，you’ll be in the habit of enjoying yourself.And，if by some chance you don’t，you’ll have a great life anyway.Make a note to yourself to start thinking more about what you have than what you want.If you do，your life will start appearing much better than before.For perhaps the first time in your life，you’ll know what it means to feel satisfied.
