[英]苏珊.B.威尔逊/Susan B.Wilson
因为我们所具有的非凡的默契和感知能力，我和母亲之间存在着深厚的母女情结。
14年前，我住在印第安纳州的埃文斯维尔市，那里距离我的母亲——我的知己、我最好的朋友有八百英里。一天早上，沉思中的我突然觉得急需给母亲打个电话，问问她身体是否还好。起初，我犹豫了。因为母亲是四年级的老师，7∶15打电话给她会打乱她的日常规律，使她上班迟到。但是，还是有某种力量驱使着我放下一切顾虑打给了她。我们聊了三分钟，她向我保证自己很安全、很健康。
那天晚些时候，我的电话铃声响起。是母亲打来的，她告诉我说，可能是我早上打给她的电话让她逃过了一劫。如果她早三分钟出门的话，她就很可能是州际公路上交通事故中的一名受害者。在那场事故中，数人死亡，多人受伤。
八年前，我发现我怀上了我的第一个孩子。预产期是3月15日。我对医生说，推算的这个预产期太提前了，孩子会推迟到3月29日至4月3日之间出生，因为母亲在那个时候刚好可以休春假。当然，我希望宝宝出生的时候母亲在我身边。医生仍然坚持说预产期是在3月中旬，而我只是笑笑。最后，里德在3月30日出生，母亲在3月31日到达了。
六年前，我又怀孕了。医生说预产期是在3月底。我说这次孩子会提前出生，你可以猜到，那是因为母亲所在的学校在3月初放假。医生和我都笑了。结果，布雷妮在3月8日出世。
两年半前，母亲正与癌症作斗争。一段时间后，她精疲力竭，失去了食欲和讲话的能力。陪她在北卡罗来纳州度过一个周末后，我不得不准备乘飞机返回美国的中西部地区。我跪在母亲床边，拉着她的手说：“妈妈，如果我能赶回来，您愿意等我吗？”母亲一边睁大双眼，一边努力地点点头。
两天后，我接到继父打来的电话。母亲的生命危在旦夕，家庭中的所有成员都聚到了一起，向她作最后的告别。他们打开扬声器，以便我能听到那边的仪式。
在那个晚上，我远隔数千里，尽力用自己最有爱意的声音跟母亲说了再见。然而，第二天清晨，电话里传来的消息却是：母亲还活着，不过一直处于昏迷之中，随时都有可能辞世。可是她没有。不仅那天没有，第二天也没有。每天早上，我都能得到相同的电话消息：她随时都有可能撒手人寰，但是她没有。我的心痛和悲伤在每日里沉积。
漫长的数周过去了，我才终于明白：母亲是在等我。母亲曾向我表示，如果我能赶回来，她会等我。之前我不能赶回去，可是现在我能了。于是，我立即订购了机票。
到那天下午5点时，我已搂着母亲躺在她的床上了。母亲还在昏迷之中，但是我还是轻声对她说：“妈妈，我在您身边了。您可以放心地走了。谢谢您等我，您可以放心地走了。”几个小时后，母亲离我们而去。
我想，当一种情结很深厚、很强大时，它会在言语无法表达的地方永存，它具有难以言表的美丽。尽管失去母亲带给我很深的伤痛，但母女情结的美丽和力量是任何东西都无法从我这里换取的。
My mother and I are deeply connected by our uncanny ability to silently communicate with each other.Fourteen years ago，I was living in Evansville，Indiana，800 miles away from my mother—my confidante，my best friend.One morning，while in a quiet state of contemplation，I suddenly felt an urgent need to call Mother and ask if she was all right.At first I hesitated.Since my mother taught fourth grade，calling her at 7：15 A.M.could interrupt her routine and made her late for work.But something compelled me to go ahead and call her.We spoke for three minutes，and she assured me that she was safe and fine.Later that day，the telephone rang.It was Mother，reporting that my morning phone call had probably saved her life.Had she left the house three minutes earlier，it’s likely that she would have been part of a major interstate accident that killed several people and injured many more.Eight years ago，I discovered that I was pregnant with my first child.The due date was March 15th.I told the doctor that was just too soon.
The baby’s due date had to fall between March 29th and April 3th because that was when my mother had her spring break from teaching.And of course I wanted her with me.The doctor still insisted that the due date was mid-March.I just smiled.Reid arrived on March 30.Mother arrived on March 31th.Six years ago，I was expecting again.The doctor said the due date was toward the end of March.I said it would have to be earlier this time because—you guessed it—Mother’s school break was near the beginning of March.The doctor and I both smiled.Breanne made her entry on March 8th.
Two and a half years ago，Mother was fighting cancer.Over time，she lost her energy，her appetite，her ability to speak.After a weekend with her in North Carolina，I had to prepare for my flight back to the Midwest.I knelt at Mother’s bedside and took her hand.“Mother，if I can，do you want me to come back？”Her eyes widened as she tried to nod.Two days later，I had a call from my stepfather.My mother was dying.Family members were gathered for last rites.They put me on a speakerphone to hear the service.That night，I tried my best to send a loving goodbye to Mother over the miles.The next morning，however，the telephone rang：Mother was still alive，but in a coma and expected to die any minute.But she didn’t.Not that day，or the next.Every morning，I’d get the same call：She could die any minute.But she didn’t.And every day，my pain and sadness were compounded.After long weeks passed，it finally dawned on me：Mother was waiting for me.She had communicated that she wanted me to come back if I could.I hadn’t been able to before，but now I could.I made reservation immediately.By 5：00 that afternoon，I was lying in her bed with my arms around her.She was still in a coma，but I whispered，“I’m here，Mother.You can let go.Thank you for waiting.You can let go.”She died just a few hours later.I think when a connection is that deep and powerful，it lives forever in a place far beyond words and is indescribably beautiful.For all the agony of my loss，I would not trade the beauty and power of that connection for anything.
