I saw I hadn't got the hang of the steering, and so couldn't rightly tell where I was going to bring up when I started. I went afoot the rest of the day, and let my wings hang. Early next morning I went to a private place to have some practice. I got up on a pretty high rock, and got a good start, and went swooping down, aiming for a bush a little over three hundred yards off; but I couldn't seem to calculate for the wind, which was about two points abaft my beam. I could see I was going considerable to looard of the bush, so I worked my starboard wing slow and went ahead strong on the port one, but it wouldn't answer; I could see Iwas going to broach to, so I slowed down on both, and lit. I went back to the rock and took another chance at it. I aimed two or three points to starboard of the bush - yes, more than that -enough so as to make it nearly a head-wind. I done well enough, but made pretty poor time. I could see, plain enough, that on a head-wind, wings was a mistake. I could see that a body could sail pretty close to the wind, but he couldn't go in the wind's eye. Icould see that if I wanted to go a-visiting any distance from home, and the wind was ahead, I might have to wait days, maybe, for a change; and I could see, too, that these things could not be any use at all in a gale; if you tried to run before the wind, you would make a mess of it, for there isn't anyway to shorten sail -like reefing, you know - you have to take it ALL in - shut your feathers down flat to your sides. That would LAND you, of course.
You could lay to, with your head to the wind - that is the best you could do, and right hard work you'd find it, too. If you tried any other game, you would founder, sure.
I judge it was about a couple of weeks or so after this that Idropped old Sandy McWilliams a note one day - it was a Tuesday -and asked him to come over and take his manna and quails with me next day; and the first thing he did when he stepped in was to twinkle his eye in a sly way, and say, -"Well, Cap, what you done with your wings?"
I saw in a minute that there was some sarca** done up in that rag somewheres, but I never let on. I only says, -"Gone to the wash."
"Yes," he says, in a dry sort of way, "they mostly go to the wash -about this time - I've often noticed it. Fresh angels are powerful neat. When do you look for 'em back?""Day after to-morrow," says I.
He winked at me, and smiled.
Says I, -
"Sandy, out with it. Come - no secrets among friends. I notice you don't ever wear wings - and plenty others don't. I've been ****** an ass of myself - is that it?""That is about the size of it. But it is no harm. We all do it at first. It's perfectly natural. You see, on earth we jump to such foolish conclusions as to things up here. In the pictures we always saw the angels with wings on - and that was all right; but we jumped to the conclusion that that was their way of getting around - and that was all wrong. The wings ain't anything but a uniform, that's all. When they are in the field - so to speak, -they always wear them; you never see an angel going with a message anywhere without his wings, any more than you would see a military officer presiding at a court-martial without his uniform, or a postman delivering letters, or a policeman walking his beat, in plain clothes. But they ain't to FLY with! The wings are for show, not for use. Old experienced angels are like officers of the regular army - they dress plain, when they are off duty. New angels are like the militia - never shed the uniform - always fluttering and floundering around in their wings, butting people down, flapping here, and there, and everywhere, always imagining they are attracting the admiring eye - well, they just think they are the very most important people in heaven. And when you see one of them come sailing around with one wing tipped up and t'other down, you make up your mind he is saying to himself: 'I wish Mary Ann in Arkansaw could see me now. I reckon she'd wish she hadn't shook me.' No, they're just for show, that's all - only just for show.""I judge you've got it about right, Sandy," says I.
"Why, look at it yourself," says he. "YOU ain't built for wings -no man is. You know what a grist of years it took you to come here from the earth - and yet you were booming along faster than any cannon-ball could go. Suppose you had to fly that distance with your wings - wouldn't eternity have been over before you got here?
Certainly. Well, angels have to go to the earth every day -millions of them - to appear in visions to dying children and good people, you know - it's the heft of their business. They appear with their wings, of course, because they are on official service, and because the dying persons wouldn't know they were angels if they hadn't wings - but do you reckon they fly with them? It stands to reason they don't. The wings would wear out before they got half-way; even the pin-feathers would be gone; the wing frames would be as bare as kite sticks before the paper is pasted on. The distances in heaven are billions of times greater; angels have to go all over heaven every day; could they do it with their wings alone? No, indeed; they wear the wings for style, but they travel any distance in an instant by WISHING. The wishing-carpet of the Arabian Nights was a sensible idea - but our earthly idea of angels flying these awful distances with their clumsy wings was foolish.
"Our young saints, of both ***es, wear wings all the time - blazing red ones, and blue and green, and gold, and variegated, and rainbowed, and ring-streaked-and-striped ones - and nobody finds fault. It is suitable to their time of life. The things are beautiful, and they set the young people off. They are the most striking and lovely part of their outfit - a halo don't BEGIN.""Well," says I, "I've tucked mine away in the cupboard, and I allow to let them lay there till there's mud.""Yes - or a reception."
"What's that?"
"Well, you can see one to-night if you want to. There's a barkeeper from Jersey City going to be received.""Go on - tell me about it."
