登陆注册
25630900000019

第19章

Lonely as I was, and wished to be, I think that I never felt my loneliness as I did during the twenty-four hours which intervened between Rattray's departure and my own. They dragged like wet days by the sea, and the effect was as depressing. I have seldom been at such a loss for something to do; and in my idleness I behaved like a child, wishing my new friend back again, or myself on the railway with my new friend, until I blushed for the beanstalk growth of my regard for him, an utter stranger, and a younger man. I am less ashamed of it now: he had come into my dark life like a lamp, and his going left a darkness deeper than before.

In my dejection I took a new view of the night's outrage. It was no common burglar's work, for what had I worth stealing? It was the work of my unseen enemies, who dogged me in the street; they alone knew why; the doctor had called these hallucinations, and Ihad forced myself to agree with the doctor; but I could not deceive myself in my present mood. I remembered the steps, the steps - the stopping when I stopped - the drawing away in the crowded streets - the closing up in quieter places. Why had I never looked round?

Why? Because till to-day I had thought it mere vulgar curiosity;because a few had bored me, I had imagined the many at my heels; but now I knew - I knew! It was the few again: a few who hated me even unto death.

The idea took such a hold upon me that I did not trouble my head with reasons and motives. Certain persons had designs upon my life; that was enough for me. On the whole, the thought was stimulating; it set a new value on existence, and it roused a certain amount of spirit even in me. I would give the fellows another chance before I left town. They should follow me once more, and this time to some purpose. Last night they had left a knife on me; to-night I would have a keepsake ready for them.

Hitherto I had gone unarmed since my landing, which, perhaps, was no more than my duty as a civilized citizen. On Black Hill Flats, however, I had formed another habit, of which I should never have broken myself so easily, but for the fact that all the firearms Iever had were reddening and rotting at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. I now went out and bought me such a one as I had never possessed before.

The revolver was then in its infancy; but it did exist; and by dusk I was owner of as fine a specimen as could be procured in the city of London. It had but five chambers, but the barrel was ten inches long; one had to cap it, and to put in the powder and the wadded bullet separately; but the last-named would have killed an elephant.

The oak case that I bought with it cumbers my desk as I write, and, shut, you would think that it had never contained anything more lethal than fruit-knives. I open it, and there are the green-baize compartments, one with a box of percussion caps, still apparently full, another that could not contain many more wadded-bullets, and a third with a powder-horn which can never have been much lighter.

Within the lid is a label bearing the makers' names; the gentlemen themselves are unknown to me, even if they are still alive;nevertheless, after five-and-forty years, let me dip my pen to Messrs.

Deane, Adams and Deane!

That night I left this case in my room, locked, and the key in my waistcoat pocket; in the right-hand side-pocket of my overcoat Icarried my Deane and Adams, loaded in every chamber; also my right hand, as innocently as you could wish. And just that night I was not followed! I walked across Regent's Park, and I dawdled on Primrose Hill, without the least result. Down I turned into the Avenue Road, and presently was strolling between green fields towards Finchley. The moon was up, but nicely shaded by a thin coating of clouds which extended across the sky: it was an ideal night for it. It was also my last night in town, and I did want to give the beggars their last chance. But they did not even attempt to avail themselves of it: never once did they follow me: my ears were in too good training to make any mistake. And the reason only dawned on me as I drove back disappointed: they had followed me already to the gunsmith's!

Convinced of this, I entertained but little hope of another midnight visitor. Nevertheless, I put my light out early, and sat a long time peeping through my blind; but only an inevitable Tom, with back hunched up and tail erect, broke the moonlit profile of the back-garden wall; and once more that disreputable music (which none the less had saved my life) was the only near sound all night.

I felt very reluctant to pack Deane and Adams away in his case next morning, and the case in my portmanteau, where I could not get at it in case my unknown friends took it into their heads to accompany me out of town. In the hope that they would, I kept him loaded, and in the same overcoat pocket, until late in the afternoon, when, being very near my northern destination, and having the compartment to myself, I locked the toy away with considerable remorse for the price I had paid for it. All down the line I had kept an eye for suspicious characters with an eye upon me; but even my self-consciousness failed to discover one; and I reached my haven of peace, and of fresh fell air, feeling, I suppose, much like any other fool who has spent his money upon a white elephant.

同类推荐
  • 净土救生船诗

    净土救生船诗

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • The Red Seal

    The Red Seal

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 太平经圣君秘旨

    太平经圣君秘旨

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 清暑笔谈

    清暑笔谈

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 三要达道论

    三要达道论

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 昆仑奇侠

    昆仑奇侠

    故事发生在明朝成化年间,昆仑派掌门人,孙耀光,想把自己的小徒弟,孙启超,为下一代昆仑派掌门人。没过多久,中毒生亡,万万没想到,下毒之人,居然是自己的大徒弟,张深家,可是,张深家,却嫁祸于,自己的师弟。孙启超。害他关入大牢。。。。。。
  • 守护甜心之血色旋律

    守护甜心之血色旋律

    守护者们的不相信,使亚梦彻底失望!亚梦心里的仇恨使自己变强!不再是那个弱小的日奈森亚梦,而是强大的紫诺星梦!她决定要复仇,把那些伤害全部还给守护者们!让我们拭目以待吧!
  • 极品县令

    极品县令

    【起点草根阶级签约作品】何为逍遥?何是逍遥?醉卧美人膝?醒掌天下权?为人心?是志趣?此来古今谁能知?晨昏饮佳酿,醉望孤月浩空灵,知心相陪,天下赋之笑,随我意,不为心,不枉人世走一遭。他是一个另类的县令,文不能定国,武不能安邦。却是一个做到封王的县令,一个说做宰相不如做县令的强人,当然,还是一个穿越史上艳遇排名第一的县令。这是一个英雄辈出的年代。外抗强敌驱除胡虏、内解纷乱救济百姓,成为每一个大唐儿女的梦想。看那桃花山谷里剑影似舞,听那苍山凌松下拳风如歌。我辈英才亦当后生可畏。且看这小小县令如何玩转初唐,笑谈天下事,嬉戏花丛,终成大唐极品县令!
  • 蚀骨媚宠--强占小娇妻

    蚀骨媚宠--强占小娇妻

    他狂傲冷漠,冰天雪地里徒留一抹伤悲。小小的她闯入他的世界,如火如花悄然绽放,从此在他的生命里常开不败!他们是她的哥哥,他宠她如命,爱她成痴。她是他的妹妹,她聪慧、坚强,被他精心呵护。她逃不开他织的大网,她堕落进去再难逃开。他逃不开她织的情网,他堕落进去甘之如饴不愿离开。他宠他爱,他禁锢她,以爱为名束缚做他一世的小妻子。他念他痴,他痴候她,以爱之名捆绑要她还一世的情缘。他腹黑温柔,笑时如阳春三月,春暖花开。他冷漠霸道,怒时如雷霆万钧,灭人神魂。她说:“爱不是占有是成全,你为何就是不愿成全我!”他说:“我成全了你那谁来成全我,能成全我的只有你,你懂吗?”他说:“爱已成痴,念已入骨,叫我如何剔除?”她说:“爱的执念入骨,不成痴变成疯。”她说:“因为我不爱你,所以感觉被你爱很痛苦。”他说:“既然痛苦那就努力爱上我,两情若是相悦岂不美哉!”他说:“沐尘雪,你今生今世注定是我的,逃不掉亦无处可逃!”她说:“你是哥哥,这辈子都是。”他说:“雪儿,只有你能润我心田滋我百骨,没有你我便如没有灵魂的躯壳,你就是我的灵魂。”他爱过她,爱着她,他说一直在便一直爱。上至天堂下至地狱,他随她。他痴恋成狂,爱念成痴。他说爱到生命所不能承受之重,爱到宇宙荒芜万物枯竭,仍要爱。
  • 永恒赛尔号

    永恒赛尔号

    永恒是神兽的极限,神兽是高高在上的存在,但真的精灵不能超越神兽吗?不!神兽也会被精灵拉下神坛。。。
  • 重生之狂暴王者

    重生之狂暴王者

    在无限空间赢得最终一战的王者吴天,许下了重回18岁的愿望。这一次,所有遗憾都不会发生,所有惨剧都不会重演,只因王者回归!我狂,我爆,只因为我才是这世上最强之人!纵横世间,横扫无敌!!!【存稿充足,请放心阅读】
  • 复仇少女驾到

    复仇少女驾到

    楔子:原本该是少女的恋爱,可悲的是,另一个出现夺走了她的“王子”,少女几年后,归来,发现男孩本就不爱自己,于是。。。---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------百田的M·F染梦是我,所以不要说抄袭之类的话!
  • 只需一眼便是沉沦

    只需一眼便是沉沦

    有时候啊,爱情,只需眼一眼,足以沉沦……谢谢你在茫茫人海中出现在我的眼前……
  • 绿茵之传奇巨星

    绿茵之传奇巨星

    一个足球天才的传奇之路。从闪耀中超到成名欧洲,从中超射手到欧冠射手,从中超冠军到欧冠冠军再到世界杯冠军......作者致谢:本小说封面由墨星小说封面网免费制作,还没有封面的赶快去免费申请啦!百度搜索“墨星”即可找到!
  • 废柴倾世之少主请接嫁

    废柴倾世之少主请接嫁

    一朝穿越,身无斗气,受制于人。不知澜幽,朱雀之地掌权者,夕幻大陆最隐秘的隐世宗族少主,神秘势力之传承者。玄武之伤,青龙之变,他与她的邂逅,绕成日后的缱绻。四方涌动,争端各起。为守护菡萏之心,她不惜以命相护,携手同伴,毅然踏上了未知的旅程。本文纯属虚构,请勿模仿。