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第86章

"However, setting matters of blood and family entirely aside, many thanks to you, young man, from poor Belle, for the honour you did her in ****** that same offer; for, after all, it is an honour to receive an honourable offer, which she could see clearly yours was, with no floriness nor chaff in it; but, on the contrary, entire sincerity.She assures you that she shall always bear it and yourself in mind, whether on land or water; and as a proof of the good-will she bears to you, she sends you a lock of the hair which she wears on her head, which you were often looking at, and were pleased to call flax, which word she supposes you meant as a compliment, even as the old people meant to pass a compliment to their great folks, when they called them bears; though she cannot help thinking that they might have found an animal as strong as a bear, and somewhat less uncouth, to call their great folks after: even as she thinks yourself, amongst your great store of words, might have found something a little more genteel to call her hair after than flax, which, though strong and useful, is rather a coarse and common kind of article.

"And as another proof of the good-will she bears to you, she sends you, along with the lock, a piece of advice, which is worth all the hair in the world, to say nothing of the flax.

"FEAR GOD, and take your own part.There's Bible in that, young man: see how Moses feared God, and how he took his own part against everybody who meddled with him.And see how David feared God, and took his own part against all the bloody enemies which surrounded him - so fear God, young man, and never give in! The world can bully, and is fond, provided it sees a man in a kind of difficulty, of getting about him, calling him coarse names, and even going so far as to hustle him: but the world, like all bullies, carries a white feather in its tail, and no sooner sees the man taking off his coat, and offering to fight its best, than it scatters here and there, and is always civil to him afterwards.So when folks are disposed to ill-treat you, young man, say, 'Lord have mercy upon me!' and then tip them to Long Melford, which, as the saying goes, there is nothing comparable for shortness all the world over; and these last words, young man, are the last you will ever have from her who is nevertheless,Your affectionate female servant,ISOPEL BERNERS.

After reading the letter I sat for some time motionless, holding it in my hand.The daydream in which I had been a little time before indulging, of marrying Isopel Berners, of going with her to America, and having by her a large progeny, who were to assist me in felling trees, cultivating the soil, and who would take care of me when I was old, was now thoroughly dispelled.Isopel had deserted me, and was gone to America by herself, where, perhaps, she would marry some other person, and would bear him a progeny, who would do for him what in my dream I had hoped my progeny by her would do for me.Then the thought came into my head that though she was gone, I might follow her to America, but then I thought that if I did I might not find her; America was a very large place, and I did not know the port to which she was bound;but I could follow her to the port from which she had sailed, and there possibly discover the port to which she was bound;but I did not even know the port from which she had set out, for Isopel had not dated her letter from any place.Suddenly it occurred to me that the post-mark on the letter would tell me from whence it came, so I forthwith looked at the back of the letter, and in the post-mark read the name of a well-known and not very distant sea-port.I then knew with tolerable certainty the port where she had embarked, and Ialmost determined to follow her, but I almost instantly determined to do no such thing.Isopel Berners had abandoned me, and I would not follow her; "Perhaps," whispered Pride, "if I overtook her, she would only despise me for running after her;" and it also told me pretty roundly, provided Iran after her, whether I overtook her or not, I should heartily despise myself.So I determined not to follow Isopel Berners; I took her lock of hair, and looked at it, then put it in her letter, which I folded up and carefully stowed away, resolved to keep both for ever, but I determined not to follow her.Two or three times, however, during the day, I wavered in my determination, and was again and again almost tempted to follow her, but every succeeding time the temptation was fainter.In the evening I left the dingle, and sat down with Mr.Petulengro and his family by the door of his tent; Mr.Petulengro soon began talking of the letter which I had received in the morning."Is it not from Miss Berners, brother?" said he.I told him it was."Is she coming back, brother?" "Never," said I; "she is gone to America, and has deserted me." "I always knew that you two were never destined for each other," said he."How did you know that?" I inquired."The dook told me so, brother; you are born to be a great traveller." "Well," said I, "if I had gone with her to America, as I was thinking of doing, Ishould have been a great traveller." "You are to travel in another direction, brother," said he."I wish you would tell me all about my future wanderings," said I."I can't, brother," said Mr.Petulengro, "there's a power of clouds before my eye." "You are a poor seer, after all," said I;and getting up, I retired to my dingle and my tent, where Ibetook myself to my bed, and there, knowing the worst, and being no longer agitated by apprehension, nor agonized by expectation, I was soon buried in a deep slumber, the first which I had fallen into for several nights.

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