"Thank you," said Bonaparte, "but this is not a society function, Your Highness--I have come here on business, so spare me your flatteries."Apollyon turned purple with rage.
"Insolent!" he cried. "Consider yourself under arrest.""Certainly," said Bonaparte, calmly. "Will you kindly hand me your crown?"Apollyon rose in his wrath, and ordered his aides to arrest Bonaparte, and to cast him into the furnace. "Make it a million degrees Farenheit," he roared.
"I regret to inform your majesty," said the chief aide, "that word has just been received that the fires are out, the coal-yard has been captured by the rebels, and five adventurous spirits have let all the vitriol out of the reservoir into the Styx.""Summon my guards, and have this man boned, then!" raged Apollyon.
"It is also with regret that I have to tell you," returned the aide, "that the Royal Guard has gone over to the enemy, having been promised higher wages.""We have Cerberus left," cried Apollyon, "let him take this base intruder and tear him limb from limb."Napoleon burst out into a laugh. "You will excuse me, Your Majesty,"he said. "But Cerberus is already fixed. We poisoned two of his heads, and he is even now whining for his life with the third.""Then am I undone," moaned Apollyon, covering his face with his hands.
"You are," said Bonaparte, "but we'll tie you up again in short order. We'll put you on one of your own gridirons and do you to a turn."Of course this was the end.
In three days Napoleon had made himself master of the kingdom, had proclaimed the Empire with himself at its head. Apollyon was treated with consideration. His life was spared, but he was shorn of his power. Bonaparte sent him into exile at Paris, where, according to report, he still lives.
"Now for a new coronation," said the victor. "Send for the pope.""Not this tune!" cried Caesar with a laugh. "The popes have always studiously avoided this place.""Then," said Napoleon with a smile, "let Fortune crown me. After all, it has always been she who did it--why not now?"Hence it was that at the dawning of New Year's day of 1822, Napoleon Bonaparte opened a new and most highly successful career. His power has increased day by day until now, when there is evidence that he has the greater part of the world in his firm grasp.
Some years later his beloved Bourrienne arrived.
"Remember, Bourrienne," he said, as he installed his old and faithful secretary in his new office, "you have always written my autographs for me, and shall still continue to do so, only please note the change. It is no longer Bonaparte, or Napoleon, Emperor of the French, it has become Napollyon, Emperor of Hades."And to Fouche, when that worthy arrived, he said:
"Fouche, this is different from the old show. That original Empire of mine was ruined by just one thing. I was eternally anxious to provide for the succession, and out of that grew all my troubles; but here, as the little girl said about the apple-core, there ain't a-goin' to be no succession. I am here to stay. Meanwhile, Fouche, Ihave an impression that you and Augureau took more pleasure out of my misfortunes than I did; wherefore I authorize you to send for Augereau and take him swimming in the vitriol tank. It will do you both good."As for Joseph, when he heard of his brother's new acquisition he reformed at once, led an irreproachable life in America, whither he had fled, and when he died went to the other place.
End
