"Then," continued Aubertin, "there is the terrible chance of Raynal's return.But ere I take on me to advise you, what are your own plans?""I don't know," said Josephine helplessly.
"You--don't--know!" cried the doctor, looking at her in utter amazement.
"It is the answer of a mad woman, is it not? Doctor, I am little better.My foot has slipped on the edge of a precipice.I close my eyes, and let myself glide down it.What will become of me?""All shall be well," said Aubertin, "provided you do not still love that man."Josephine did not immediately reply: her thoughts turned inwards.
The good doctor was proceeding to congratulate her on being cured of a fatal passion, when she stopped him with wonder in her face."Not love him! How can I help loving him? I was his betrothed.Iwronged him in my thoughts.War, prison, anguish, could not kill him; he loved me so.He struggled bleeding to my feet; and could Ilet him die, after all? Could I be crueller than prison, and torture, and despair?"The doctor sighed deeply; but, arming himself with the necessary resolution, he sternly replied, "A woman of your name cannot vacillate between love and honor; such vacillations have but one end.I will not let you drift a moral wreck between passion and virtue; and that is what it will come to if you hesitate now.""Hesitate! Who can say I have hesitated where my honor was concerned? You can read our bodies then, but not our hearts.What!
you see me so pale, forlorn, and dead, and that does not tell you Ihave bid Camille farewell forever? That we might be safer still Ihave not even told him he is a father: was ever woman so cruel as Iam? I have written him but one letter, and in that I must deceive him.I told him I thought I might one day be happy, if I could hear that he did not give way to despair.I told him we must never meet again in this world.So now come what will: show me my duty and Iwill do it.This endless deceit burns my heart.Shall I tell my husband? It will be but one pang more, one blush more for me.But my mother!" and, thus appealed to, Dr.Aubertin felt, for the first time, all the difficulty of the situation he had undertaken to cure.
He hesitated, he was embarrassed.
"Ah," said Josephine, "you see." Then, after a short silence, she said despairingly, "This is my only hope: that poor Raynal will be long absent, and that ere he returns mamma will lie safe from sorrow and shame in the little chapel.Doctor, when a woman of my age forms such wishes as these, I think you might pity her, and forgive her ill-treatment of you, for she cannot be very happy.Ah me! ah me! ah me!""Courage, poor soul! All is now in my hands, and I will save you,"said the doctor, his voice trembling in spite of him."Guilt lies in the intention.A more innocent woman than you does not breathe.
Two courses lay open to you: to leave this house with Camille Dujardin, or to dismiss him, and live for your hard duty till it shall please Heaven to make that duty easy (no middle course was tenable for a day); of these two paths you chose the right one, and, having chosen, I really think you are not called on to reveal your misfortune, and make those unhappy to whose happiness you have sacrificed your own for years to come.""Forever," said Josephine quietly.
"The young use that word lightly.The old have almost ceased to use it.They have seen how few earthly things can conquer time."He resumed, "You think only of others, Josephine, but I shall think of you as well.I shall not allow your life to be wasted in a needless struggle against nature." Then turning to Rose, who had glided into the room, and stood amazed, "Her griefs were as many before her child was born, yet her health stood firm.Why? because nature was on her side.Now she is sinking into the grave.Why?
because she is defying nature.Nature intended her to be pressing her child to her bosom day and night; instead of that, a peasant woman at Frejus nurses the child, and the mother pines at Beaurepaire."At this, Josephine leaned her face on her hands on the doctor's shoulder.In this attitude she murmured to him, "I have never seen him since I left Frejus." Dr.Aubertin sighed for her.Emboldened by this, she announced her intention of going to Frejus the very next day to see her little Henri.But to this Dr.Aubertin demurred."What, another journey to Frejus?" said he, "when the first has already roused Edouard's suspicions; I can never consent to that."Then Josephine surprised them both.She dropped her coaxing voice and pecked the doctor like an irritated pigeon."Take care," said she, "don't be too cruel to me.You see I am obedient, resigned.Ihave given up all I lived for: but if I am never to have my little boy's arms round me to console me, then--why torment me any longer?
Why not say to me, 'Josephine, you have offended Heaven; pray for pardon, and die'?"Then the doctor was angry in his turn."Oh, go then," said he, "go to Frejus; you will have Edouard Riviere for a companion this time.
Your first visit roused his suspicions.So before you go tell your mother all; for since she is sure to find it out, she had better hear it from you than from another.""Doctor, have pity on me," said Josephine.
"You have no heart," said Rose."She shall see him though, in spite of you.""Oh, yes! he has a heart," said Josephine: "he is my best friend.
He will let me see my boy."
