Much the same.She spoke of him with respect abroad, and with contempt in her closet.She watched his conduct and conversation, and found that he had by travelling, acquired the wickedness of Lovelace without his wit, and the politeness of Sir Charles Gran-dison without his generosity.The ruddy youth, who washed his face at the cistern every morning, and swore and looked eternal love and constancy, was now metamorphosed into a flippant, palid, polite beau, who devotes the morning to his toilet, reads a few pages of Chesterfield's letters, and then minces out, to put the infamous principles in practice upon every woman he meets.
CHARLOTTE
But, if she is so apt at conjuring up these senti-mental bugbears, why does she not discard him at once?
LETITIA
Why, she thinks her word too sacred to be trifled with.Besides, her father, who has a great respect for the memory of his deceased friend, is ever tell-ing her how he shall renew his years in their union, and repeating the dying injunctions of old Van Dumpling.
CHARLOTTE
A mighty pretty story! And so you would make me believe that the sensible Maria would give up Dumpling manor, and the all-accomplished Dimple as a husband, for the absurd, ridiculous reason, forsooth, because she despises and abhors him.Just as if a lady could not be privileged to spend a man's fortune, ride in his carriage, be called after his name, and call him her nown dear lovee when she wants money, with-out loving and respecting the great he-creature.Oh!
my dear girl, you are a monstrous prude.
LETITIA
I don't say what I would do; I only intimate how I suppose she wishes to act.
CHARLOTTE
No, no, no! A fig for sentiment.If she breaks, or wishes to break, with Mr.Dimple, depend upon it, she has some other man in her eye.A woman rarely dis-cards one lover until she is sure of another.Letitia little thinks what a clue I have to Dimple's conduct.
The generous man submits to render himself disgust-ing to Maria, in order that she may leave him at lib-erty to address me.I must change the subject.
[Aside, and rings a bell.
Enter SERVANT.
Frank, order the horses to.--Talking of marriage, did you hear that Sally Bloomsbury is going to be married next week to Mr.Indigo, the rich Carolinian?
LETITIA
Sally Bloomsbury married!--why, she is not yet in her teens.
CHARLOTTE
I do not know how that is, but you may depend upon it, 'tis a done affair.I have it from the best au-thority.There is my aunt Wyerly's Hannah.You know Hannah; though a black, she is a wench that was never caught in a lie in her life.Now, Hannah has a brother who courts Sarah, Mrs.Catgut the mil-liner's girl, and she told Hannah's brother, and Han-nah, who, as I said before, is a girl of undoubted veracity, told it directly to me, that Mrs.Catgut was ****** a new cap for Miss Bloomsbury, which, as it was very dressy, it is very probable is designed for a wedding cap.Now, as she is to be married, who can it be to but to Mr.Indigo? Why, there is no other gentleman that visits at her papa's.
LETITIA
Say not a word more, Charlotte.Your intelligence is so direct and well grounded, it is almost a pity that it is not a piece of scandal.
CHARLOTTE
Oh! I am the pink of prudence.Though I cannot charge myself with ever having discredited a tea-party by my silence, yet I take care never to report any thing of my acquaintance, especially if it is to their credit,--discredit, I mean,--until I have searched to the bottom of it.It is true, there is infinite pleasure in this charitable pursuit.Oh! how delicious to go and condole with the friends of some backsliding sister, or to retire with some old dowager or maiden aunt of the family, who love scandal so well that they cannot forbear gratifying their appetite at the expense of the reputation of their nearest relations! And then to return full fraught with a rich collection of circum-stances, to retail to the next circle of our acquaintance under the strongest injunctions of secrecy,--ha, ha, ha!--interlarding the melancholy tale with so many doleful shakes of the head, and more doleful "Ah!
who would have thought it! so amiable, so prudent a young lady, as we all thought her, what a mon-strous pity! well, I have nothing to charge myself with; I acted the part of a friend, I warned her of the principles of that rake, I told her what would be the consequence; I told her so, I told her so."--Ha, ha, ha!
LETITIA
Ha, ha, ha! Well, but, Charlotte, you don't tell me what you think of Miss Bloomsbury's match.
CHARLOTTE
Think! why I think it is probable she cried for a plaything, and they have given her a husband.Well, well, well, the puling chit shall not be deprived of her plaything: 'tis only exchanging London dolls for American babies.--Apropos, of babies, have you heard what Mrs.Affable's high-flying notions of deli-cacy have come to?
LETITIA
Who, she that was Miss Lovely?
CHARLOTTE
The same; she married Bob Affable of Schenectady.
Don't you remember?
Enter SERVANT.
SERVANT.
Madam, the carriage is ready.
LETITIA
Shall we go to the stores first, or visiting?
CHARLOTTE
I should think it rather too early to visit, especially Mrs.Prim; you know she is so particular.
LETITIA
Well, but what of Mrs.Affable?
CHARLOTTE
Oh, I'll tell you as we go; come, come, let us hasten.I hear Mrs.Catgut has some of the prettiest caps arrived you ever saw.I shall die if I have not the first sight of them.[Exeunt.
[page intentionally blank]
[illustration omitted]
SCENE II.
A Room in VAN ROUGH'S House MARIA sitting disconsolate at a Table, with Books, &c.
SONG.
I.
The sun sets in night, and the stars shun the day;But glory remains when their lights fade away!
Begin, ye tormentors! your threats are in vain, For the son of Alknomook shall never complain.
II.
Remember the arrows he shot from his bow;Remember your chiefs by his hatchet laid low:
Why so slow?--do you wait till I shrink from the pain?
No--the son of Alknomook will never complain.
III.
Remember the wood where in ambush we lay, And the scalps which we bore from your nation away:
