I have thus far, in the narration of these incidents been perfectly candid both as regards my friends and myself, and, therefore, that I may continue in like manner to the end, I shall suppress certain qualms which are urging me to silence, and confess myself guilty of some things of which you will, perhaps, think I may well be ashamed.
Be that as it may, you shall have the whole truth, however it may affect your opinion of me.One reason why I went to Maitland's new quarters so often, and stayed there so long, was because I was always permitted to relieve him of his watch.With a telephone receiver strapped to my right ear, and my eyes fastened upon the screen of the camera obscura, I would sit by the hour prying into the affairs of the two people in the next room.I tried for a number of days to ease my conscience by telling myself that I was labouring in the cause of justice, and was not a common eavesdropper.This permitted me to retain a sort of quasi self-respect for a day or two till my honesty rallied itself, and forced me to realise and to admit that I was, to all intents and purposes, a common Paul Pry, performing a disreputable act for the gratification it gave me.Idetermined I would at least be honest with myself - and this was my verdict.You will, perhaps, fancy that when I arrived at this decision I at once mended my ways and resigned my seat of observation to Maitland's entirely professional care.This, doubtless, I should have done, if we fallible human beings governed our conduct by our knowledge of what is right and proper.Inasmuch, however, as desires and emotions are the determining factors of human conduct, I did nothing of the sort.I simply watched there day after day, with ever-increasing avidity, until at length I got to be impatient of the duties that took me away, and more than half inclined to neglect them.
I shall gain nothing by attempting to make you believe it was the man in the neighbouring room that interested me, so I shall not essay it.I confess, with a feeling of guilt because I am not more ashamed of it - that it was the young lady who attracted me.
You will, I trust, assume I had enough interest in her father to palliate my conduct in a measure.Be generous in your judgment.
How do you know you will not be in the same predicament? Think of it! A young woman beautiful beyond my feeble powers of description; her eyes of a heavenly blue; her luxuriant hair like a mass of spun gold; her complexion matched to the tint and transparency of the blush rose - and such a throat! From it came a voice as musical as the unguided waters when Winter rushes down the hills in search of Spring.Never you mind, that's the way Ifelt about it, and, if you had been in my place, you'd have been just as bad as I; come, now, you know you would.Suppose I was a bachelor, and almost old enough to be her father.Does that help matters any? Is the heart less hungry because it has been starved?
Just look at your history.When nuns have relapsed from other-worldliness to this-worldliness how have they been? I'll tell you.They have been just a round baker's dozen times worse than they would have been if they had never undertaken to cheat Nature.Look at the thing fairly.I don't expect to dodge any blame that I deserve, yet I do want all the palliating circumstances duly noted.Many months have passed since then, and yet the thought of that sweet girl sends a thrill all over me.I wonder where she is now? I feel that we shall meet again some time, and perhaps you will see her yourself.If so, you will see that I couldn't be expected to withstand any such temptation.
On these visits Maitland and I talked but very little, and while Iwas spying nothing of interest occurred - i.e., nothing of interest to him - or, if it did, things of interest to me prevented my observing it.On several occasions he alluded vaguely to things he had learned which he said he should not divulge even to me until the proper time came.
Things went on in this way for about two weeks.I visited Maitland daily, and daily the little lady in the next room wove her spell around me.If, as I am inclined to believe, thinking a great deal of a person is much the same thing as thinking of a person a great deal, I must have adored her.
One night, about a fortnight after Maitland's change of abode, Ifound Alice in a terrible state of excitement upon my arrival home.
She met me at the door, and said Gwen needed my attention at once.
I did not stop to hear further particulars, but hastened to the sitting-room, where Gwen lay upon the lounge.She was in a stupor from which it seemed impossible to arouse her.In vain I tried to attract her attention.Her fixed, staring eyes looked through me as if I had been glass.I saw she had received a severe shock, and so, after giving her some medicine, I took Alice aside and asked her what had happened.She said that Gwen and she had been sitting sewing by the window all the afternoon, and talking about Maitland's recent discoveries.At about five o'clock the Evening Herald was brought in as usual.She, Alice, had picked it up to glance over the news, when, in the column headed "Latest," she had seen the heading: "The Darrow Mystery Solved!" This she had read aloud, without thinking of the shock the unexpected announcement might give Gwen, when the sudden pallor that had overspread the young woman's face had brought her to her senses, and she had paused.Her companion, however, had seized the paper when she had hesitated and, in a fever of excitement, had read in a half-audible voice:
John Darrow was murdered.- The assassin's inability to pay a gambling debt the motive for the crime.- Extraordinary work of a French detective! - The net -=20But at this juncture the paper had dropped from Gwen's hands, and she had fallen upon the floor before Alice could reach her.
