It is more difficult to get acquainted with Herbert than with an entire stranger, for I have my prepossessions about him, and do not find him in so many places where I expect to find him.He is full of criticism of the authors I admire; he thinks stupid or improper the books I most read; he is skeptical about the "movements" I am interested in; he has formed very different opinions from mine concerning a hundred men and women of the present day; we used to eat from one dish; we could n't now find anything in common in a dozen;his prejudices (as we call our opinions) are most extraordinary, and not half so reasonable as my prejudices; there are a great many persons and things that I am accustomed to denounce, uncontradicted by anybody, which he defends; his public opinion is not at all my public opinion.I am sorry for him.He appears to have fallen into influences and among a set of people foreign to me.I find that his church has a different steeple on it from my church (which, to say the truth, hasn't any).It is a pity that such a dear friend and a man of so much promise should have drifted off into such general contrariness.I see Herbert sitting here by the fire, with the old look in his face coming out more and more, but I do not recognize any features of his mind,--except perhaps his contrariness; yes, he was always a little contrary, I think.And finally he surprises me with, "Well, my friend, you seem to have drifted away from your old notions and opinions.We used to agree when we were together, but Isometimes wondered where you would land; for, pardon me, you showed signs of looking at things a little contrary."I am silent for a good while.I am trying to think who I am.There was a person whom I thought I knew, very fond of Herbert, and agreeing with him in most things.Where has he gone? and, if he is here, where is the Herbert that I knew?
If his intellectual and moral sympathies have all changed, I wonder if his physical tastes remain, like his appearance, the same.There has come over this country within the last generation, as everybody knows, a great wave of condemnation of pie.It has taken the character of a "movement!" though we have had no conventions about it, nor is any one, of any of the several ***es among us, running for president against it.It is safe almost anywhere to denounce pie, yet nearly everybody eats it on occasion.A great many people think it savors of a life abroad to speak with horror of pie, although they were very likely the foremost of the Americans in Paris who used to speak with more enthusiasm of the American pie at Madame Busque's than of the Venus of Milo.To talk against pie and still eat it is snobbish, of course; but snobbery, being an aspiring failing, is sometimes the prophecy of better things.To affect dislike of pie is something.We have no statistics on the subject, and cannot tell whether it is gaining or losing in the country at large.Its disappearance in select circles is no test.The amount of writing against it is no more test of its desuetude, than the number of religious tracts distributed in a given district is a criterion of its piety.We are apt to assume that certain regions are substantially free of it.Herbert and I, traveling north one summer, fancied that we could draw in New England a sort of diet line, like the sweeping curves on the isothermal charts, which should show at least the leading pie sections.Journeying towards the White Mountains, we concluded that a line passing through Bellows Falls, and bending a little south on either side, would mark northward the region of perpetual pie.In this region pie is to be found at all hours and seasons, and at every meal.I am not sure, however, that pie is not a matter of altitude rather than latitude, as I find that all the hill and country towns of New England are full of those excellent women, the very salt of the housekeeping earth, who would feel ready to sink in mortification through their scoured kitchen floors, if visitors should catch them without a pie in the house.
The absence of pie would be more noticed than a scarcity of Bible even.Without it the housekeepers are as distracted as the boarding-house keeper, who declared that if it were not for canned tomato, she should have nothing to fly to.Well, in all this great agitation I find Herbert unmoved, a conservative, even to the under-crust.I dare not ask him if he eats pie at breakfast.There are some tests that the dearest friendship may not apply.
"Will you smoke?" I ask.
"No, I have reformed."
"Yes, of course."
"The fact is, that when we consider the correlation of forces, the apparent sympathy of spirit manifestations with electric conditions, the almost revealed mysteries of what may be called the odic force, and the relation of all these phenomena to the nervous system in man, it is not safe to do anything to the nervous system that will--""Hang the nervous system! Herbert, we can agree in one thing: old memories, reveries, friendships, center about that:--is n't an open wood-fire good?""Yes," says Herbert, combatively, "if you don't sit before it too long."III
The best talk is that which escapes up the open chimney and cannot be repeated.The finest woods make the best fire and pass away with the least residuum.I hope the next generation will not accept the reports of "interviews" as specimens of the conversations of these years of grace.
