And these same persons,in the case of the monument,which was not mine,indeed--for it was not erected from the proceeds of spoils won by me,and I had nothing to do with it beyond giving out the contract for its construction--well,they allowed this monument of the senate's to have branded upon it the name of a public enemy,and an inscription written in blood.That those men wished my safety rouses my liveliest gratitude,but I could have wished that they had not chosen to take my bare safety into consideration,like doctors,but,like trainers,my strength and complexion also!As it is,just as Apelles perfected the head and bust of his Venus with the most elaborate art,but left the rest of her body in the rough,so certain persons only took pains with my head,and left the rest of my body unfinished and unworked.Yet in this matter I have falsified the expectation,not only of the jealous,but also of the downright hostile,who formerly conceived a wrong opinion from the case of Quintus Metellus,son of Lucius--the most energetic and gallant man in the world,and in my opinion of surpassing courage and firmness--who,people say,was much cast down and dispirited after his return from exile.Now,in the first place,we are asked to believe that a man who accepted exile with entire willingness and remarkable cheerfulness,and never took any pains at all to get recalled,was crushed in spirit about an affair in which he had shewn more firmness and constancy than anyone else,even than the preeminent M.Scaurus himself!
But,again,the account they had received,or rather the conjectures they were indulging in about him,they now transferred to me,imagining that I should be more than usually broken in spirit:whereas,in fact,the Republic was inspiring me with even greater courage than I had ever had before,by ****** it plain that I was the one citizen it could not do without;and by the fact that while a bill proposed by only one tribune had recalled Metellus,the whole state had joined as one man in recalling me--the senate leading the way,the whole of Italy following after,eight of the tribunes publishing the bill,a consul putting the question at the centuriate assembly,all orders and individuals pressing it on,in fact,with all the forces at its command.Nor is it the case that I afterwards made any pretension,or am ****** any at this day,which can justly offend anyone,even the most malevolent:my only effort is that I may not fail either my friends or those more remotely connected with me in either active service,or counsel,or personal exertion.This course of life perhaps offends those who fix their eyes on the glitter and show of my professional position,but are unable to appreciate its anxieties and laboriousness.
Again,they make no concealment of their dissatisfaction on the ground that in the speeches which I make in the senate in praise of Caesar I am departing from my old policy.But while giving explanations on the points which I put before you a short time ago,I will not keep till the last the following,which I have already touched upon.You will not find,my dear Lentulus,the sentiments of the loyalists the same as you left them--strengthened by my consulship,suffering relapse at intervals afterwards,crushed down before your consulship,revived by you:they have now been abandoned by those whose duty it was to have maintained them:and this fact they,who in the old state of things as it existed in our day used to be called Optiinates,not only declare by look and expression of countenance,by which a false pretence is easiest supported,but have proved again and again by their actual sympathies and votes.Accordingly,the entire view and aim of wise citizens,such as I wish both to be and to be reckoned,must needs have undergone a change.For that is the maxim of that same great Plato,whom I emphatically regard as my master:"Maintain a political controversy only so far as you can convince your fellow citizens of its justice:never offer violence to parent or fatherland."He,it is true,alleges this as his motive for having abstained from politics,because,having found the Athenian people all but in its dotage,and seeing that it could not be ruled by persuasion,or by anything short of compulsion,while he doubted the possibility of persuasion,he looked upon compulsion as criminal.My position was different in this:as the people was not in its dotage,nor the question of engaging in politics still an open one for me,I was bound hand and foot.Yet I rejoiced that I was permitted in one and the same cause to support a policy at once advantageous to myself and acceptable to every loyalist.An additional motive was Caesar's memorable and almost superhuman kindness to myself and my brother,who thus would have deserved my support whatever he undertook;while as it is,considering his great success and his brilliant victories,he would seem,even if he had not behaved to me as he has,to claim a panegyric from me.For I would have you believe that,putting you aside,who were the authors of my recall,there is no one by whose good offices I would not only confess,but would even rejoice,to have been so much bound.
Having explained this matter to you,the questions you ask about Vatinius and Crassus are easy to answer.For,since you remark about Appius,as about Caesar,"that you have no fault to find,"Ican only say that I am glad you approve my policy.But as to Vatinius,in the first place there had been in the interval a reconciliation effected through Pompey,immediately after his election to the praetorship,though I had,it is true,impugned his candidature in some very strong speeches in the senate,and yet not so much for the sake of attacking him as of defending and complimenting Cato.Again,later on,there followed a very pressing request from Caesar that I should undertake his defence.
