That is one way of putting it,of course.Te Kop himself was probably no favourite,for he scarce appealed to my judgment as a type of industry.And there must be many others whom the king (to adhere to the formula)does not like.Do these unfortunates like the king?Or is not rather the repulsion mutual?and the conscientious Tembinok',like the conscientious Braxfield before him,and many other conscientious rulers and judges before either,surrounded by a considerable body of 'grumbletonians'?Take the cook,for instance,when he passed us by,blue with rage and terror.He was very wroth with me;I think by all the old principles of human nature he was not very well pleased with his sovereign.It was the rich man he sought to waylay:I think it must have been by the turn of a hair that it was not the king he waylaid instead.And the king gives,or seems to give,plenty of opportunities;day and night he goes abroad alone,whether armed or not I can but guess;and the taro-patches,where his business must so often carry him,seem designed for assassination.The case of the cook was heavy indeed to my conscience.I did not like to kill my enemy at second-hand;but had I a right to conceal from the king,who had trusted me,the dangerous secret character of his attendant?And suppose the king should fall,what would be the fate of the king's friends?It was our opinion at the time that we should pay dear for the closing of the well;that our breath was in the king's nostrils;that if the king should by any chance be bludgeoned in a taro-patch,the philosophical and musical inhabitants of Equator Town might lay aside their pleasant instruments,and betake themselves to what defence they had,with a very dim prospect of success.These speculations were forced upon us by an incident which I am ashamed to betray.The schooner H.L.
HASELTINE (since capsized at sea,with the loss of eleven lives)put into Apemama in a good hour for us,who had near exhausted our supplies.The king,after his habit,spent day after day on board;the gin proved unhappily to his taste;he brought a store of it ashore with him;and for some time the sole tyrant of the isle was half-seas-over.He was not drunk -the man is not a drunkard,he has always stores of liquor at hand,which he uses with moderation,-but he was muzzy,dull,and confused.He came one day to lunch with us,and while the cloth was being laid fell asleep in his chair.His confusion,when he awoke and found he had been detected,was equalled by our uneasiness.When he was gone we sat and spoke of his peril,which we thought to be in some degree our own;of how easily the man might be surprised in such a state by GRUMBLETONIANS;of the strange scenes that would follow -the royal treasures and stores at the mercy of the rabble,the palace overrun,the garrison of women turned adrift.And as we talked we were startled by a gun-shot and a sudden,barbaric outcry.Ibelieve we all changed colour;but it was only the king firing at a dog and the chorus striking up in the Speak House.A day or two later I learned the king was very sick;went down,diagnosed the case;and took at once the highest medical degree by the exhibition of bicarbonate of soda.Within the hour Richard was himself again;and I found him at the unfinished house,enjoying the double pleasure of directing Rubam and ****** a dinner of cocoa-nut dumplings,and all eagerness to have the formula of this new sort of PAIN-KILLER -for PAIN-KILLER in the islands is the generic name of medicine.So ended the king's modest spree and our anxiety.
On the face of things,I ought to say,loyalty appeared unshaken.
When the schooner at last returned for us,after much experience of baffling winds,she brought a rumour that Tebureimoa had declared war on Apemama.Tembinok'became a new man;his face radiant;his attitude,as I saw him preside over a council of chiefs in one of the palace maniap's,eager as a boy's;his voice sounding abroad,shrill and jubilant,over half the compound.War is what he wants,and here was his chance.The English captain,when he flung his arms in the lagoon,had forbidden him (except in one case)all military adventures in the future:here was the case arrived.All morning the council sat;men were drilled,arms were bought,the sound of firing disturbed the afternoon;the king devised and communicated to me his plan of campaign,which was highly elaborate and ingenious,but perhaps a trifle fine-spun for the rough and random vicissitudes of war.And in all this bustle the temper of the people appeared excellent,an unwonted animation in every face,and even Uncle Parker burning with military zeal.
Of course it was a false alarm.Tebureimoa had other fish to fry.
The ambassador who accompanied us on our return to Butaritari found him retired to a small island on the reef,in a huff with the Old Men,a tiff with the traders,and more fear of insurrection at home than appetite for wars abroad.The plenipotentiary had been placed under my protection;and we solemnly saluted when we met.He proved an excellent fisherman,and caught bonito over the ship's side.He pulled a good oar,and made himself useful for a whole fiery afternoon,towing the becalmed EQUATOR off Mariki.He went to his post and did no good.He returned home again,having done no harm.O SI SIC OMNES!
