登陆注册
26272200000148

第148章 Chapter 4(3)

But she had her hours thus of feeling supremely linked to him by the rigour of their law, and when it came over her that all the while the wish on his side to spare her might be what most worked with him, this very fact of their seeming to have nothing "inward" really to talk about wrapped him up for her in a kind of sweetness that was wanting, as a consecration, even in her yearning for her husband. She was powerless however, was only more utterly hushed, when the interrupting flash came, when she would have been all ready to say to him: "Yes, this is by every appearance (74) the best time we've had yet; but don't you see all the same how they must be working together for it and how my very success, my success in shifting our beautiful harmony to a new basis, comes round to being THEIR success, above all; their cleverness, their amiability, their power to hold out, their complete possession in short of our life?" For how could she say as much as that without saying a great deal more? without saying "They'll do everything in the world that suits us, save only one thing--prescribe a line for us that will make them separate." How could she so much as imagine herself even faintly murmuring that without putting into his mouth the very words that would have made her quail? "Separate, my dear? Do you want them to separate? Then you want US to--you and me? For how can the one separation take place without the other?" That was the question that in spirit she had heard him ask--with its dread train moreover of involved and connected enquiries. Their own separation, his and hers, was of course perfectly thinkable, but only on the basis of the sharpest of reasons.

Well, the sharpest, the very sharpest would be that they could no longer afford, as it were, he to let his wife, she to let her husband, "run" them in such compact formation. And say they accepted this account of their situation as a practical finality, acting upon it and proceeding to a division, would no sombre ghosts of the smothered past on either side show across the widening strait pale unappeased faces, or raise in the very passage deprecating denouncing hands?

Meanwhile, however such things might be, she was (75) to have occasion to say to herself that a deeper treachery would perhaps lurk in recoveries and reassurances. She was to feel alone again, as she had felt at the issue of her high tension with her husband during their return from meeting the Castledeans in Eaton Square. The evening in question had left her with a larger alarm, but then a lull had come--the alarm after all was yet to be confirmed. There came an hour inevitably when she knew with a chill what she had feared and why; it had taken, this hour, a month to arrive, but to find it before her was thoroughly to recognise it, for it showed her sharply what Amerigo had meant in alluding to a particular use that they might make of Charlotte for their reaffirmed harmony and prosperity.

The more she thought, at present, of the tone he had employed to express their enjoyment of this resource, the more it came back to her as the product of a conscious art of dealing with her. He had been conscious at the moment of many things--conscious even not a little of desiring and thereby of needing to see what she would do in a given case. The given case would be that of her being to a certain extent, as she might fairly make it out, MENACED--horrible as it was to impute to him any intention represented by such a word. Why it was that to speak of ****** her stepmother intervene, as they might call it, in a question that seemed just then and there quite peculiarly their own business--why it was that a turn so familiar and so easy should at the worst strike her as charged with the spirit of a threat, was an oddity disconnected for her temporarily from its grounds, the adventure of an imagination within her (76) that possibly had lost its way. That precisely was doubtless why she had learned to wait, as the weeks passed by, with a fair, or rather indeed with an excessive, imitation of resumed serenity. There had been no prompt sequel to the Prince's equivocal light, and that made for patience; yet she was none the less to have to admit after many days that the bread he had cast on the waters had come home and that she should thus be justified of her old apprehension. The consequence of this in turn was a renewed pang in presence of his remembered ingenuity.

To be ingenious with HER--what DID N'T, what might n't that mean when she had so absolutely never at any point of contact with him put him by as much as the value of a penny to the expense of sparing, doubting, fearing her, of having in any way whatever to reckon with her? The ingenuity had been in his simply speaking of their use of Charlotte as if it were common to them in an equal degree, and his triumph on the occasion had been just in the simplicity. She could n't--and he knew it--say what was true: "Oh you 'use' her, and I use her, if you will, yes; but we use her ever so differently and separately--not at all in the same way or degree. There's nobody we really use together but ourselves, don't you see?--by which I mean that where our interests are the same I can so beautifully, so exquisitely serve you for everything, and you can so beautifully, so exquisitely serve me. The only person either of us needs is the other of us; so why as a matter of course in such a case as this drag in Charlotte?"

She could n't so challenge him because it would have been--and there she was paralysed--the NOTE. (77) It would have translated itself on the spot for his ear into jealousy, and from reverberation to repercussion would have reached her father's exactly in the form of a cry piercing the stillness of peaceful sleep. It had been for many days almost as difficult for her to catch a quiet twenty minutes with her father as it had formerly been easy; there had been in fact of old--the time, so strangely, seemed already far away--an inevitability in her longer passages with him, a sort of domesticated beauty in the calculability round about them of everything.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 雪族风歌

    雪族风歌

    一场千年的家族恩怨!一场阴谋爱情!一个意想不到的背叛!一个情理之中,意料之外的选择!一切尽在《雪族风歌》。希望书友们多多收藏,一天投一票啊,谢谢支持啊。
  • 无上业道

    无上业道

    废物少爷梦天淬炼肉体获得强大力量,势要摆脱臭名。偶得天书残卷,勇闯恶魔之岛,成为绝世天尊。踏碎天道,让这天下众生,诸天万道,皆臣服我在的脚下!
  • 帝辰斩;异界纵横

    帝辰斩;异界纵横

    【此书永久免费】玉宇无垠,群星朝帝:为政以德,譬如北辰。曾经有无数次我倒在了修炼的仕途中,可是我又用尽了我无限的力气来挽救这一切看似湮灭的天下。这里虽然不是魔法斗气的世界,但却是一个热血纵涣的大陆。巅峰越是遥远,越是指引着我在向着巅峰走去【等级制度:后天、先天、开光、辟谷、金丹、元婴、元神、入圣、灵虚、渡劫、大成】武器等级:一到六阶,灵阶,圣阶,神阶。【本作品讨论群78188708】
  • 爆宠萌妃,王爷!求包养!

    爆宠萌妃,王爷!求包养!

    他是人们眼中的战神,战无不胜,并且美貌无双。她是人们眼中的丞相府大小姐,文武百官皇子们眼中的香饽饽。“老公,我饿了!”“恩,我也饿了。”某男似恶魔般的扑倒某女。
  • 不灭修武

    不灭修武

    我这一生最大的骄傲,就是希望我死的人都死了,而我还活着。
  • 热血大陆

    热血大陆

    这是不是你曾有过的梦想?这是不是你曾向往的世界?甚至!这是不是就有你的影子?这是不是就有你内心深处的炽热?热血武动,使命催促,复仇,争霸,爱情,真理,炽烈......要不要美女?要不要争宠?要不要法宝?要不要奇遇?要不要神功?要不要成神?要不要热血?你不是倒霉废材,你会一步步在爱恨情仇中修灵炼武,神魔共体,弑神屠龙,谱写一篇轰天动地的热血传奇!不要说主角不是你,他就是你心中的自己!
  • 怀才纳贿“二皇帝”和珅

    怀才纳贿“二皇帝”和珅

    本书全方位、多角度为读者呈现一个真实的和珅。其实,和珅也是有七情六欲的普通人,他也很珍视夫妻、兄弟、朋友之间的感情,也有他善良的一面。
  • 大天纪

    大天纪

    一名身世神秘非同凡响的世家少年,一个包罗万象无穷无尽的亿万世界。百炼千难终破空,亿万世界任我狂,大天主宰吾为至尊!踏诸天,行万界,修真法,悟至道,成大天!
  • 都市封神

    都市封神

    一个普通的少年,偶然间成为一个血族,从此认识了隐藏在真实世界下的另一个世界——异能界,从此一个个的谜团开始解开,然而随着不断的成长,肩负在他身上的责任越来越重大,最后他会怎么样呢……?蚩魔宫,神剑山庄,黑龙会,基因战士,黑暗议会,神圣教廷,各方势力在异能界又掀起了一次血雨腥风,看主人公蚩龙若何应对。
  • 这个巫医不是逗比

    这个巫医不是逗比

    作为一个现代半透明型黑客,兼某款游戏的巫医职业的职业玩家,叶笙白最大的杯具就是做出了某游戏的外挂,然后拎着外挂愉快地穿越到了游戏里。外挂:(得瑟的微笑)鱼唇的玩家,你可以虐菜,可以嗑药,可以升级,可以打怪,反正你就是不能离开游戏的哈哈哈哈。无奈地叶笙白拎着某只作孽多端的外挂,拎着各类药剂瓶,愉快地(并不)在游戏里开始浪,并且遇见了各种崩坏的神话中的十二主神并勾搭了主神一只。但是,为什么现在的主神似乎有点……奇怪?(本文又烂又渣,作者又白又新又苏,谨慎入坑)