She paused. She, so penetrative of him when he opposed her, was hoodwinked when he softened her feelings: for the heart, though the clearest, is not the most constant instructor of the head; the heart, unlike the often obtuser head, works for itself and not for the commonwealth.
"You are so kind ... I would do much . . ." she said.
"Would you accept him--marry him? He is poor."
"I am not ambitious of wealth."
"Would you marry him?"
"Marriage is not in my thoughts."
"But could you marry him?"
Willoughby expected no. In his expectation of it he hung inflated.
She said these words: "I could engage to marry no one else." His amazement breathed without a syllable.
He flapped his arms, resembling for the moment those birds of enormous body which attempt a rise upon their wings and achieve a hop.
"Would you engage it?" he said, content to see himself stepped on as an insect if he could but feel the agony of his false friend Horace--their common pretensions to win her were now of that comparative size.
"Oh! there can be no necessity. And an oath--no!" said Clara, inwardly shivering at a recollection.
"But you could?"
"My wish is to please you."
"You could?"
"I said so."
It has been known to the patriotic mountaineer of a hoary pile of winters, with little life remaining in him, but that little on fire for his country, that by the brink of the precipice he has flung himself on a young and lusty invader, dedicating himself exultingly to death if only he may score a point for his country by extinguishing in his country's enemy the stronger man. So likewise did Willoughby, in the blow that deprived him of hope, exult in the toppling over of Horace De Craye. They perished together, but which one sublimely relished the headlong descent?
And Vernon taken by Clara would be Vernon simply tolerated. And Clara taken by Vernon would be Clara previously touched, smirched.
Altogether he could enjoy his fall.
It was at least upon a comfortable bed, where his pride would be dressed daily and would never be disagreeably treated.
He was henceforth Laetitia's own. The bell telling of Dr. Corney's return was a welcome sound to Willoughby, and he said good-humouredly: "Wait, Clara, you will see your hero Crossjay."
Crossjay and Dr. Corney tumbled into the hall. Willoughby caught Crossjay under the arms to give him a lift in the old fashion pleasing to Clara to see. The boy was heavy as lead.
"I had work to hook him and worse to net him," said Dr. Corney. "I had to make him believe he was to nurse every soul in the house, you among them, Miss Middleton."
Willoughby pulled the boy aside.
Crossjay came back to Clara heavier in looks than his limbs had been. She dropped her letter in the hall-box, and took his hand to have a private hug of him. When they were alone, she said:
"Crossjay, my dear, my dear! you look unhappy."
"Yes, and who wouldn't be, and you're not to marry Sir Willoughby!" his voice threatened a cry. "I know you're not, for Dr. Corney says you are going to leave."
"Did you so very much wish it, Crossjay?"
"I should have seen a lot of you, and I sha'n't see you at all, and I'm sure if I'd known I wouldn't have--And he has been and tipped me this."
Crossjay opened his fist in which lay three gold pieces.
"That was very kind of him," said Clara.
"Yes, but how can I keep it?"
"By handing it to Mr. Whitford to keep for you."
"Yes, but, Miss Middleton, oughtn't I to tell him? I mean Sir Willoughby."
"What?"
"Why, that I"--Crossjay got close to her--"why, that I, that I--you know what you used to say. I wouldn't tell a lie, but oughtn't I, without his asking ... and this money! I don't mind being turned out again."
"Consult Mr. Whitford," said Clara.
"I know what you think, though."
"Perhaps you had better not say anything at present, dear boy."
"But what am I to do with this money?"
Crossjay held the gold pieces out as things that had not yet mingled with his ideas of possession.
"I listened, and I told of him," he said. "I couldn't help listening, but I went and told; and I don't like being here, and his money, and he not knowing what I did. Haven't you heard? I'm certain I know what you think, and so do I, and I must take my luck. I'm always in mischief, getting into a mess or getting out of it. I don't mind, I really don't, Miss Middleton, I can sleep in a tree quite comfortably. If you're not going to be here, I'd just as soon be anywhere. I must try to earn my living some day.
And why not a cabin-boy? Sir Cloudesley Shovel was no better. And I don't mind his being wrecked at last, if you're drowned an admiral. So I shall go and ask him to take his money back, and if he asks me I shall tell him, and there. You know what it is: I guessed that from what Dr. Corney said. I'm sure I know you're thinking what's manly. Fancy me keeping his money, and you not marrying him! I wouldn't mind driving a plough. I shouldn't make a bad gamekeeper. Of course I love boats best, but you can't have everything."
"Speak to Mr. Whitford first," said Clara, too proud of the boy for growing as she had trained him, to advise a course of conduct opposed to his notions of manliness, though now that her battle was over she would gladly have acquiesced in little casuistic compromises for the sake of the general peace.
Some time later Vernon and Dr. Corney were arguing upon the question. Corney was dead against the sentimental view of the morality of the case propounded by Vernon as coming from Miss Middleton and partly shared by him. "If it's on the boy's mind,"
Vernon said, "I can't prohibit his going to Willoughby and ****** a clean breast of it, especially as it involves me, and sooner or later I should have to tell him myself."
Dr. Corney said no at all points. "Now hear me," he said, finally.
