Mr Boffin seemed rather inclined to object to these precautionary arrangements, but, being immediately embraced by Wegg, resigned himself. Venus then produced the document, and Mr Boffin slowly spelt it out aloud: so very slowly, that Wegg, who was holding him in the chair with the grip of a wrestler, became again exceedingly the worse for his exertions. 'Say when you've put it safe back, Mr Venus,' he uttered with difficulty, 'for the strain of this is terrimenjious.'
At length the document was restored to its place; and Wegg, whose uncomfortable attitude had been that of a very persevering man unsuccessfully attempting to stand upon his head, took a seat to recover himself. Mr Boffin, for his part, made no attempt to come down, but remained aloft disconsolate.
'Well, Boffin!' said Wegg, as soon as he was in a condidon to speak. 'Now, you know.'
'Yes, Wegg,' said Mr Boffin, meekly. 'Now, I know.'
'You have no doubts about it, Boffin.'
'No, Wegg. No, Wegg. None,' was the slow and sad reply.
'Then, take care, you,' said Wegg, 'that you stick to your conditions.
Mr Venus, if on this auspicious occasion, you should happen to have a drop of anything not quite so mild as tea in the 'ouse, I think I'd take the friendly liberty of asking you for a specimen of it.'
Mr Venus, reminded of the duties of hospitality, produced some rum. In answer to the inquiry, 'Will you mix it, Mr Wegg?' that gentleman pleasantly rejoined, 'I think not, sir. On so auspicious an occasion, I prefer to take it in the form of a Gum-Tickler.'
Mr Boffin, declining rum, being still elevated on his pedestal, was in a convenient position to be addressed. Wegg having eyed him with an impudent air at leisure, addressed him, therefore, while refreshing himself with his dram.
'Bof--fin!'
'Yes, Wegg,' he answered, coming out of a fit of abstraction, with a sigh.
'I haven't mentioned one thing, because it's a detail that comes of course. You must be followed up, you know. You must be kept under inspection.'
'I don't quite understand,' said Mr Boffin.
'Don't you?' sneered Wegg. 'Where's your wits, Boffin? Till the Mounds is down and this business completed, you're accountable for all the property, recollect. Consider yourself accountable to me.
Mr Venus here being too milk and watery with you, I am the boy for you.'
'I've been a-thinking,' said Mr Boffin, in a tone of despondency, 'that I must keep the knowledge from my old lady.'
'The knowledge of the diwision, d'ye mean?' inquired Wegg, helping himself to a third Gum-Tickler--for he had already taken a second.
'Yes. If she was to die first of us two she might then think all her life, poor thing, that I had got the rest of the fortune still, and was saving it.'
'I suspect, Boffin,' returned Wegg, shaking his head sagaciously, and bestowing a wooden wink upon him, 'that you've found out some account of some old chap, supposed to be a Miser, who got himself the credit of having much more money than he had.
However, I don't mind.'
'Don't you see, Wegg?' Mr Boffin feelingly represented to him:
'don't you see? My old lady has got so used to the property. It would be such a hard surprise.'
'I don't see it at all,' blustered Wegg. 'You'll have as much as Ishall. And who are you?'
'But then, again,' Mr Boffin gently represented; 'my old lady has very upright principles.'
'Who's your old lady,' returned Wegg, 'to set herself up for having uprighter principles than mine?'
Mr Boffin seemed a little less patient at this point than at any other of the negotiations. But he commanded himself, and said tamely enough: 'I think it must be kept from my old lady, Wegg.'
'Well,' said Wegg, contemptuously, though, perhaps, perceiving some hint of danger otherwise, 'keep it from your old lady. I ain't going to tell her. I can have you under close inspection without that. I'm as good a man as you, and better. Ask me to dinner.
Give me the run of your 'ouse. I was good enough for you and your old lady once, when I helped you out with your weal and hammers.
Was there no Miss Elizabeth, Master George, Aunt Jane, and Uncle Parker, before YOU two?'
'Gently, Mr Wegg, gently,' Venus urged.
'Milk and water-erily you mean, sir,' he returned, with some little thickness of speech, in consequence of the Gum-Ticklers having tickled it. 'I've got him under inspection, and I'll inspect him.
"Along the line the signal ran England expects as this present man Will keep Boffin to his duty."--Boffin, I'll see you home.'
Mr Boffin descended with an air of resignation, and gave himself up, after taking friendly leave of Mr Venus. Once more, Inspector and Inspected went through the streets together, and so arrived at Mr Boffin's door.
But even there, when Mr Boffin had given his keeper good-night, and had let himself in with his key, and had softly closed the door, even there and then, the all-powerful Silas must needs claim another assertion of his newly-asserted power.
'Bof--fin!' he called through the keyhole.
'Yes, Wegg,' was the reply through the same channel.
'Come out. Show yourself again. Let's have another look at you!'
Mr Boffin--ah, how fallen from the high estate of his honest simplicity!--opened the door and obeyed.
'Go in. You may get to bed now,' said Wegg, with a grin.
The door was hardly closed, when he again called through the keyhole: 'Bof--fin!'
'Yes, Wegg.'
This time Silas made no reply, but laboured with a will at turning an imaginary grindstone outside the keyhole, while Mr Boffin stooped at it within; he then laughed silently, and stumped home.
