登陆注册
26508700000094

第94章 THE AGONY(32)

Raphael could not repress an angry exclamation, nor yet a wish to silence the fiddles, annihilate the stir and bustle, stop the clamor, and disperse the ill-timed festival; like a dying man, he felt unable to endure the slightest sound, and he entered his carriage much annoyed. When he looked out upon the square from the window, he saw that all the happiness was scared away; the peasant women were in flight, and the benches were deserted. Only a blind musician, on the scaffolding of the orchestra, went on playing a shrill tune on his clarionet. That piping of his, without dancers to it, and the solitary old man himself, in the shadow of the lime-tree, with his curmudgeon's face, scanty hair, and ragged clothing, was like a fantastic picture of Raphael's wish. The heavy rain was pouring in torrents; it was one of those thunderstorms that June brings about so rapidly, to cease as suddenly. The thing was so natural, that, when Raphael had looked out and seen some pale clouds driven over by a gust of wind, he did not think of looking at the piece of skin. He lay back again in the corner of his carriage, which was very soon rolling upon its way.

The next day found him back in his home again, in his own room, beside his own fireside. He had had a large fire lighted; he felt cold.

Jonathan brought him some letters; they were all from Pauline. He opened the first one without any eagerness, and unfolded it as if it had been the gray-paper form of application for taxes made by the revenue collector. He read the first sentence:

"Gone! This really is a flight, my Raphael. How is it? No one can tell me where you are. And who should know if not I?"He did not wish to learn any more. He calmly took up the letters and threw them in the fire, watching with dull and lifeless eyes the perfumed paper as it was twisted, shriveled, bent, and devoured by the capricious flames. Fragments that fell among the ashes allowed him to see the beginning of a sentence, or a half-burnt thought or word; he took a pleasure in deciphering them--a sort of mechanical amusement.

"Sitting at your door--expected--Caprice--I obey--Rivals--I, never!--thy Pauline--love--no more of Pauline?--If you had wished to leave me for ever, you would not have deserted me--Love eternal--To die----"The words caused him a sort of remorse; he seized the tongs, and rescued a last fragment of the letter from the flames.

"I have murmured," so Pauline wrote, "but I have never complained, my Raphael! If you have left me so far behind you, it was doubtless because you wished to hide some heavy grief from me. Perhaps you will kill me one of these days, but you are too good to torture me. So do not go away from me like this. There! I can bear the worst of torment, if only I am at your side. Any grief that you could cause me would not be grief. There is far more love in my heart for you than I have ever yet shown you. I can endure anything, except this weeping far away from you, this ignorance of your----"Raphael laid the scorched scrap on the mantelpiece, then all at once he flung it into the fire. The bit of paper was too clearly a symbol of his own love and luckless existence.

"Go and find M. Bianchon," he told Jonathan.

Horace came and found Raphael in bed.

"Can you prescribe a draught for me--some mild opiate which will always keep me in a somnolent condition, a draught that will not be injurious although taken constantly.""Nothing is easier," the young doctor replied; "but you will have to keep on your feet for a few hours daily, at any rate, so as to take your food.""A few hours!" Raphael broke in; "no, no! I only wish to be out of bed for an hour at most.""What is your object?" inquired Bianchon.

"To sleep; for so one keeps alive, at any rate," the patient answered.

"Let no one come in, not even Mlle. Pauline de Wistchnau!" he added to Jonathan, as the doctor was writing out his preion.

"Well, M. Horace, is there any hope?" the old servant asked, going as far as the flight of steps before the door, with the young doctor.

"He may live for some time yet, or he may die to-night. The chances of life and death are evenly balanced in his case. I can't understand it at all," said the doctor, with a doubtful gesture. "His mind ought to be diverted.""Diverted! Ah, sir, you don't know him! He killed a man the other day without a word!--Nothing can divert him!"For some days Raphael lay plunged in the torpor of this artificial sleep. Thanks to the material power that opium exerts over the immaterial part of us, this man with the powerful and active imagination reduced himself to the level of those sluggish forms of animal life that lurk in the depths of forests, and take the form of vegetable refuse, never stirring from their place to catch their easy prey. He had darkened the very sun in heaven; the daylight never entered his room. About eight o'clock in the evening he would leave his bed, with no very clear consciousness of his own existence; he would satisfy the claims of hunger and return to bed immediately. One dull blighted hour after another only brought confused pictures and appearances before him, and lights and shadows against a background of darkness. He lay buried in deep silence; movement and intelligence were completely annihilated for him. He woke later than usual one evening, and found that his dinner was not ready. He rang for Jonathan.

"You can go," he said. "I have made you rich; you shall be happy in your old age; but I will not let you muddle away my life any longer.

Miserable wretch! I am hungry--where is my dinner? How is it?--Answer me!"A satisfied smile stole over Jonathan's face. He took a candle that lit up the great dark rooms of the mansion with its flickering light;brought his master, who had again become an automaton, into a great gallery, and flung a door suddenly open. Raphael was all at once dazzled by a flood of light and amazed by an unheard-of scene.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 爱是捕风:追星

    爱是捕风:追星

    爱是捕风,是追逐看得见,却触摸不到的感情;爱是捕风,是拥抱虚无,却不曾后悔;爱是捕风,是忘记自己,脑中唯一停留的是他如风般模糊的背影;爱是捕风,是追累了,吃一顿,继续追;爱是捕风,是无论多久,都会坚持不懈地追,就算遥不可及,也要坚信,风,就在身边。
  • 不配:明星抱大腿耍大牌

    不配:明星抱大腿耍大牌

    电视剧里恶毒的女人只能是女配角,但现实教会她,善良只会葬送自己的人生。影后沈磬磬,传言她靠潜规则上位,传言她背景很硬,传言她的绯闻男友多得连狗仔都数不过来,传言她交际广阔手腕了得,传言她一心想要加入豪门,但传言不知道,她的包里始终有一枚与她的华丽不相称的铂金结婚戒指。
  • 幸福的网恋

    幸福的网恋

    谨以此文,献给真诚对待网友的朋友和在网上奉献了真情的网友们。以怀念哪段刻骨铭心的往事:河北省辛集市和河南省巩义市的两位男女网友,通过上网聊天相识、相知、相恋、相爱。真情演绎了一段生离死别的凄婉故事。令人肝肠寸断,刻骨铭心。
  • 混沌之成神

    混沌之成神

    一片雨寂,是谁,划破了殇之泪?原本只是一个平白无奇的少年,却是因为盘古传承改变了自己的一生。
  • 傻王的合约王妃

    傻王的合约王妃

    曾经做为杀手的夜莺,生活在冰冷阴暗的世界里,身边只有夜狼的陪伴。当她以南梦洁的身份重生后,决定过一回拥有七情六欲的平凡人生活。南梦洁,身为丞相府的嫡女,自幼不受宠爱,外界传言懦弱平庸,胆小怕事.....夜玉辰,曾是北肃国最受瞩目的皇子,后却因为事故变得痴傻,从此受尽凌辱.....宫炎浩,曾是北肃国最受瞩目的天才,后却因为父母离世变得体弱多病,从此鲜少出门......当这三个人的生命出现交集时,从此开始了一场错综复杂的爱情故事。如果当初没有因为算计迎娶南梦洁,夜玉辰是否就不会爱上她,是否就不会痛的撕心裂肺.....如果当初早点确定心意留住南梦洁,宫炎浩是否就不会错失机会,是否就不会让她遍体凌伤.....南梦洁脱胎换骨之后身边有姐姐般的琴姐,弟弟般的安子星,忠诚的合作伙伴欧阳凌,胜似朋友的属下雪雁,还有俘获众多女人心的妖孽朋友冷夜华.....就在南梦洁以为可以像个平凡人一样生活时,接二连三的事故,相继受伤的朋友,所有的一切将她打回原点,她再次信奉教官曾今说过的话‘不要有情感,你的情感只会让你身边的人受伤’。就在南梦洁准备回到冰冷阴暗的世界时,夜狼却突然出现,夜玉辰和宫炎浩之间的关系也被迫渐渐浮出水面......
  • 勋鹿之你只留余温

    勋鹿之你只留余温

    鹿晗小时候,父母吵架离婚鹿晗和爸爸生活在一起,五年过去了。爸爸又找了一个新的老婆。在婚礼上鹿晗碰到了吴世勋,也就是这场婚礼让吴世勋喜欢上了鹿晗。十年后。“吴世勋,这么多年过去了,你忘不掉鹿晗吗?”“忘不掉啊,忘不掉他璀璨像星光般的眼睛,忘不掉他温暖却带着魅惑的声音,忘不掉他看着吃的流口水时像小兔子看着胡萝卜般的眼神,忘不掉他笑时嘴角上扬的弧度。”
  • 归墟龙图

    归墟龙图

    前世为人,重生为龙!妖族,是否只能被取内丹修炼?妖族,是否注定不能与人族争锋?重生为龙,被预不祥之兆,被送往下界。机缘巧合,踏上修妖的道路,一心重回仙界。誓携龙纹,命日月山河称臣。待明朝,重展龙图绘山河,天下归墟!
  • 额头的伤疤

    额头的伤疤

    和数学老师那些不得不说的故事,论数学白痴的师生恋
  • 花期不误

    花期不误

    一直有这样两个人,一个叫跑,一个叫等。跑回到了起点,再次遇到等,这是爱情喜剧;跑一直跑,再没有回来,等一直等,从不肯离开,这是爱情悲剧。跑决定停下时,等终于决定追随跑一起跑,最后还是一个跑,一个等,如此轮回,没有结局。爱情就是这样,有的人在一起是因为恰好一起停下,有的人在一起是因为都不想跑,还有的人跑了一路,还有的人等了一生。一生中遇到一个你愿意为她等的人,绝对是福气。跑了一生的人,不妨回到起点去,也许它就会变成终点。我们每个人都拥有一场花期,花期里,你遇到了谁,你爱上了谁。不管结果怎样,现在你是否还能记起她或她们。你是不是在想如果那场花期,我们都没有错过,也许我们......
  • 庄语

    庄语

    :酾酒肴核下江陵,红埃沾衣新白发。遥闻暗香卷西风,悲坐虚堂憔悴枯。身为公主,她在最好的年纪嫁去卫国,是为宋卫两国友好千古,她在卫国享夫人称谓,在深宫中麻木恶毒,骄傲自负,纵横政局,是为摧毁卫国掌握重权,步步诱骗痴情卫王,最终她端坐红树下,不拾发簪妆容,只是捧着一碗茶,终究,是为自己而活吗?她云,此情赴水难收敛,天知人愿难如意。凝香闺中卧眉飘,丝发尽散欹枕眠。于此终身,天下再无祸南子。