Instead of a lonely and ragged man, with a huge burthen on his back,plodding along sorrowfully on foot, while the whole city hootedafter him, here were parties of the first gentry and mostrespectable people in the neighborhood, setting forth towards theCelestial City, as cheerfully as if the pilgrimage were merely asummer tour. Among the gentlemen were characters of deserved eminence,magistrates, politicians, and men of wealth, by whose example religioncould not but be greatly recommended to their meaner brethren. Inthe ladies' apartment, too, I rejoiced to distinguish some of thoseflowers of fashionable society, who are so well fitted to adorn themost elevated circles of the Celestial City. There was much pleasantconversation about the news of the day, topics of business,politics, or the lighter matters of amusement; while religion,though indubitably the main thing at heart, was thrown tastefully intothe back-ground. Even an infidel would have heard little or nothing toshock his sensibility.
One great convenience of the new method of going on pilgrimage, Imust not forget to mention. Our enormous burthens, instead of beingcarried on our shoulders, as had been the custom of old, were allsnugly deposited in the baggage-car, and, as I was assured, would bedelivered to their respective owners at the journey's end. Anotherthing, likewise, the benevolent reader will be delighted tounderstand. It may be remembered that there was an ancient feudbetween Prince Beelzebub and the keeper of the Wicket-Gate, and thatthe adherents of the former distinguished personage were accustomed toshoot deadly arrows at honest pilgrims, while knocking at the door.
This dispute, much to the credit as well of the illustriouspotentate above-mentioned, as of the worthy and enlightenedDirectors of the railroad, has been pacifically arranged, on theprinciple of mutual compromise. The Prince's subjects are now prettynumerously employed about the Station-house, some in taking care ofthe baggage, others in collecting fuel, feeding the engines, andsuch congenial occupations; and I can conscientiously affirm, thatpersons more attentive to their business, more willing to accommodate,or more generally agreeable to the passengers, are not to be foundon any railroad. Every good heart must surely exult at so satisfactoryan arrangement of an immemorial difficulty.
"Where is Mr. Great-heart?" inquired I. "Beyond a doubt, theDirectors have engaged that famous old champion to be chiefconductor on the railroad?""Why, no," said Mr. Smooth-it-away, with a dry cough. "He wasoffered the situation of brake-man; but, to tell you the truth, ourfriend Great-heart has grown preposterously stiff and narrow in hisold age. He has so often guided pilgrims over the road, on foot,that he considers it a sin to travel in any other fashion. Besides,the old fellow had entered so heartily into the ancient feud withPrince Beelzebub, that he would have been perpetually at blows orill language with some of the Prince's subjects, and thus haveembroiled us anew. So, on the whole, we were not sorry when honestGreat-heart went off to the Celestial City in a huff, and left us atliberty to choose a more suitable and accommodating man. Yondercomes the conductor of the train. You will probably recognize him atonce."The engine at this moment took its station in advance of thecars, looking, I must confess, much more like a sort of mechanicaldemon that would hurry us to the infernal regions, than a laudablecontrivance for smoothing our way to the Celestial City. On its topsat a personage almost enveloped in smoke and flame, which- not tostartle the reader- appeared to gush from his own mouth and stomach,as well as from the engine's brazen abdomen.
"Do my eyes deceive me?" cried I. "What on earth is this! Aliving creature? If so, he is own brother to the engine he ridesupon!""Poh, poh, you are obtuse!" said Mr. Smooth-it-away, with ahearty laugh. "Don't you know Apollyon, Christian's old enemy, withwhom he fought so fierce a battle in the Valley of Humiliation? He wasthe very fellow to manage the engine; and so we have reconciled him tothe custom of going on pilgrimage, and engaged him as chiefconductor.""Bravo, bravo!" exclaimed I, with irrepressible enthusiasm, "thisshows the liberality of the age; this proves, if anything can, thatall musty prejudices are in a fair way to be obliterated. And how willChristian rejoice to hear of this happy transformation of his oldantagonist! I promise myself great pleasure in informing him of it,when we reach the Celestial City."The passengers being all comfortably seated, we now rattled awaymerrily, accomplishing a greater distance in ten minutes thanChristian probably trudged over in a day. It was laughable while weglanced along, as it were, at the tail of a thunderbolt, to observetwo dusty foot-travellers, in the old pilgrim-guise, with cockle-shelland staff, their mystic rolls of parchment in their hands, and theirintolerable burthens on their backs. The preposterous obstinacy ofthese honest people, in persisting to groan and stumble along thedifficult pathway, rather than take advantage of modernimprovements, excited great mirth among our wiser brotherhood. Wegreeted the two pilgrims with many pleasant gibes and a roar oflaughter; whereupon, they gazed at us with such woful and absurdlycompassionate visages, that our merriment grew tenfold moreobstreperous. Apollyon, also, entered heartily into the fun, andcontrived to flirt the smoke and flame of the engine, or of his ownbreath, into their faces, and envelope them in an atmosphere ofscalding steam. These little practical jokes amused us mightily, anddoubtless afforded the pilgrims the gratification of consideringthemselves martyrs.
