The while we went down into the city of Chinon,a man attired as a maid,a maiden clad as a man--strange companions!--we held but little converse.Her mind,belike,was on fire with a great light of hope,of which afterwards I learned,and the end of the days of trouble and of men's disbelief seemed to her to be drawing near.We may not know what visions of victory and of auxiliary angels,of her King crowned,and fair France redeemed and at peace,were passing through her fancy.Therefore she was not fain to talk,being at all times a woman of few words;and in this,as in so many other matters,unlike most of her ***.
On my side I had more than enough to think of,for my case and present jeopardy were enough to amaze older and wiser heads than mine.For,imprimis,I had slain one of the King's guards;and,moreover,had struck the first blow,though my adversary,indeed,had given me uttermost provocation.But even if my enemies allowed me to speak in my own defence,which might scarcely be save by miracle,it was scantly possible for me to prove that the other had insulted me and my country.Some little hope I had that Sir Patrick Ogilvie,now constable of the Scottish men-at-arms in France,or Sir Hugh Kennedy,or some other of our knights,might take up my quarrel,for the sake of our common blood and country,we Scots always backing each the other when abroad.Yet,on the other hand,it was more probable that I might be swinging,with a flock of crows pecking at my face,before any of my countrymen could speak a word for me with the King.
It is true that they who would most eagerly have sought my life deemed me already dead,drowned in the fosse,and so would make no search for me.Yet,as soon as I went about my master's affairs,as needs I must,I would be known and taken;and,as we say in our country proverb,"my craig would ken the weight of my hurdies."{12}
None the less,seeing that the soldiers deemed me dead,I might readily escape at once from Chinon,and take to the roads again,if but I could reach my master's house unseen,and get rid of this foolish feminine gear of cap and petticoat which now I wore to my great shame and discomfort.
But on this hand lay little hope;for,once on the road,I should be in a worse jeopardy than ever before,as an apprentice fled from my master,and,moreover,with blood on my hands.Moreover,I could ill brook the thought of leaving Elliot,to whom my heart went forth in love,and of missing my chance to strike a blow in the wars for the Maiden,and against the English;of which reward I had the promise from my master.Fortune,and fame,and love,if I were to gain what every young man most desires,were only to be won by remaining at Chinon;but there,too,the face of death was close to mine--as,indeed,death,or at least shame and poverty,lay ambushed for me on all sides.
Here I sadly remembered how,with a light heart,I had left St.
Andrews,deeming that the story of my life was now about to begin,as it did for many young esquires of Greece and other lands,concerning whom I had read in romances.Verily in the tale of my adventures hitherto there had been more cuffs than crowns,more shame than honour;and,as to winning my spurs,I was more in point to win a hempen rope,and in my end disgrace my blood.
Now,as if these perils were not enough to put a man beside himself,there was another risk which,even more than these,took up my thoughts.Among all my dangers and manifold distresses,this raised its head highest in my fancy,namely,the fear that my love should see me in my outlandish guise,clad in woman's weeds,and carrying on my head a woman's burden.It was not so much that she must needs laugh and hold me in little account.Elliot laughed often,so that now it was not her mirth,to which she was ever ready,but her wrath (whereto she was ready also)that I held in awful regard.For her heart and faith,in a marvellous manner passing the love of women,were wholly set on this maid,in whose company I now fared.And,if the Maid went in men's attire (as needs she must,for modesty's sake,who was about men's business,in men's company),here was Iattending her in woman's gear,as if to make a mock of her,though in my mind I deemed her no less than a sister of the saints.And Elliot was sure to believe that I carried myself thus in mockery and to make laughter;for,at that time,there were many in France who mocked,as did that soldier whose death I had seen and caused.Thus I stood in no more danger of death,great as was that risk,than in jeopardy of my mistress's favour,which,indeed,of late I had been in some scant hope at last to win.Thus,on all hands,I seemed to myself as sore bestead as ever man was,and on no side saw any hope of succour.
I mused so long and deep on these things,that the thought which might have helped me came to me too late,namely,to tell all my tale to the Maiden herself,and throw me on her mercy.Nay,even when at last and late this light shone on my mind,I had shame to speak to her,considering the marvellous thing which I had just beheld of her,in the fulfilment of her prophecy.But now my master's house was in sight,at the turning from the steep stairs and the wynd,and there stood Elliot on the doorstep,watching and waiting for the Maid,as a girl may wait for her lover coming from the wars.
There was no time given me to slink back and skulk in the shadow of the corner of the wynd;for,like a greyhound in speed,Elliot had flown to us and was kneeling to the Maid,who,with a deep blush and some anger in her face--for she loved no such obeisances--bade her rise,and so kissed and embraced her,as young girls use among themselves when they are friends and fain of each other.I had turned myself to go apart into the shadow of the corner,as secretly as I might,when I ran straight into the arms of the archer that followed close behind us.On this encounter he gave a great laugh,and,I believe,would have kissed me;but,the Maiden looking round,he stood erect and grave as a soldier on guard,for the Maiden would suffer no light loves and daffing.
