"I don't want to grow up, much. I don't want to go to school." Asudden overwhelming desire to say something more, to say what he really felt, turned him red. "I--I want to stay with you, and be your lover, Mum."Then with an instinct to improve the situation, he added quickly "Idon't want to go to bed to-night, either. I'm simply tired of going to bed, every night.""Have you had any more nightmares?""Only about one. May I leave the door open into your room to-night, Mum?""Yes, just a little." Little Jon heaved a sigh of satisfaction.
"What did you see in Glensofantrim?"
"Nothing but beauty, darling."
"What exactly is beauty?"
"What exactly is--Oh! Jon, that's a poser.""Can I see it, for instance?" His mother got up, and sat beside him. "You do, every day. The sky is beautiful, the stars, and moonlit nights, and then the birds, the flowers, the trees--they're all beautiful. Look out of the window--there's beauty for you, Jon.""Oh! yes, that's the view. Is that all?""All? no. The sea is wonderfully beautiful, and the waves, with their foam flying back.""Did you rise from it every day, Mum?"His mother smiled. "Well, we bathed."
Little Jon suddenly reached out and caught her neck in his hands.
"I know," he said mysteriously, "you're it, really, and all the rest is make-believe."She sighed, laughed, said: "Oh! Jon!"Little Jon said critically:
"Do you think Bella beautiful, for instance? I hardly do.""Bella is young; that's something.""But you look younger, Mum. If you bump against Bella she hurts.
I don't believe 'Da' was beautiful, when I come to think of it; and Mademoiselle's almost ugly.""Mademoiselle has a very nice face." "Oh! yes; nice. I love your little rays, Mum.""Rays?"Little Jon put his finger to the outer corner of her eye.
"Oh! Those? But they're a sign of age."
"They come when you smile."
"But they usen't to."
"Oh! well, I like them. Do you love me, Mum?""I do--I do love you, darling.""Ever so?"
"Ever so!"
"More than I thought you did?"
"Much--much more."
"Well, so do I; so that makes it even."
Conscious that he had never in his life so given himself away, he felt a sudden reaction to the manliness of Sir Lamorac, **** Needham, Huck Finn, and other heroes.
"Shall I show you a thing or two?" he said; and slipping out of her arms, he stood on his head. Then, fired by her obvious admiration, he mounted the bed, and threw himself head foremost from his feet on to his back, without touching anything with his hands. He did this several times.
That evening, having inspected what they had brought, he stayed up to dinner, sitting between them at the little round table they used when they were alone. He was extremely excited. His mother wore a French-grey dress, with creamy lace made out of little scriggly roses, round her neck, which was browner than the lace. He kept looking at her, till at last his father's funny smile made him suddenly attentive to his slice of pineapple. It was later than he had ever stayed up, when he went to bed. His mother went up with him, and he undressed very slowly so as to keep her there. When at last he had nothing on but his pyjamas, he said:
"Promise you won't go while I say my prayers!""I promise."Kneeling down and plunging his face into the bed, little Jon hurried up, under his breath, opening one eye now and then, to see her standing perfectly still with a smile on her face. "Our Father"--so went his last prayer, "which art in heaven, hallowed be thy Mum, thy Kingdom Mum--on Earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily Mum and forgive us our trespasses on earth as it is in heaven and trespass against us, for thine is the evil the power and the glory for ever and ever. Amum! Look out!" He sprang, and for a long minute remained in her arms. Once in bed, he continued to hold her hand.
"You won't shut the door any more than that, will you? Are you going to be long, Mum?""I must go down and play to Daddy.""Oh! well, I shall hear you."
"I hope not; you must go to sleep."
"I can sleep any night."
"Well, this is just a night like any other.""Oh! no--it's extra special.""On extra special nights one always sleeps soundest.""But if I go to sleep, Mum, I shan't hear you come up.""Well, when I do, I'll come in and give you a kiss, then if you're awake you'll know, and if you're not you'll still know you've had one."Little Jon sighed, "All right!" he said: "I suppose I must put up with that. Mum?""Yes?""What was her name that Daddy believes in? Venus Anna Diomedes?""Oh! my angel! Anadyomene.""Yes! but I like my name for you much better.""What is yours, Jon?"Little Jon answered shyly:
"Guinevere! it's out of the Round Table I've only just thought of it, only of course her hair was down."His mother's eyes, looking past him, seemed to float.
"You won't forget to come, Mum?"
"Not if you'll go to sleep."
"That's a bargain, then." And little Jon screwed up his eyes.
He felt her lips on his forehead, heard her footsteps; opened his eyes to see her gliding through the doorway, and, sighing, screwed them up again.
Then Time began.
For some ten minutes of it he tried loyally to sleep, counting a great number of thistles in a row, "Da's" old recipe for bringing slumber. He seemed to have been hours counting. It must, he thought, be nearly time for her to come up now. He threw the bedclothes back. "I'm hot!" he said, and his voice sounded funny in the darkness, like someone else's. Why didn't she come? He sat up.
