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第39章 爱在不言不语中 (10)

后来,我去马萨诸塞州上学,有幸拜访了阿瑟叔叔。聊天中,他说很喜欢我写的信。

“您记得那些信?”我问。

“是啊,”他答道,“我把最喜欢的几封留了下来。”他指了指窗户旁的一个高脚柜。“把最上面抽屉里的那捆信拿来,好吗?”他说,“是用缎带捆着的。”

我找到很久之前写的一封信,大声读了出来:“亲爱的阿瑟叔叔,写这封信时,我正坐在美容厅的头发烘干器下。中学今晚举办圣诞舞会,为了参加晚会,我现在正用您寄来的圣诞支票做发型。实在太感谢您了。我知道我一定会玩得很开心,说起来也是因为您这份体贴的礼物。爱您的,费斯。”

“那天你玩得开心吗?”他问。

我回忆起多年前那个令人愉快的夜晚。“那当然。”我微笑着说,真希望阿瑟叔叔能看到我的笑容。

萨用力我的衣袖,让我回到了现实。“您笑什么呢?”她问。

我告诉孩子们有关阿瑟叔叔送礼物的事,以及我很高兴每年都为他写一封感谢信。显然对他来说,这些信意义非凡。

“那时候,您漂亮吗?”萨问。

“我男朋友觉得我很美。”

“您是和一起去参加舞会的?当时穿着什么衣服?”埃利诺问。

“我想应该还有一张那晚的照片,”说着,我走到书架前,取下相册,·到站在父母壁炉前的那张照片。我身穿黑色的天鹅绒晚礼服,头发是精致的法国式鬈发。站在我身旁的是一位英俊潇洒的青年,他正微笑着把胸花递给我。

“那是爸爸!”埃利诺诧异地说。

我微笑着点点头。

孩子们继续专心写余下的信,我摸了摸贴在照片旁那褪色的栀子干花瓣。

我和鲍勃在今年圣诞节庆祝了结婚36周年。谢谢您,阿瑟叔叔。

给生命带来奇迹的狗

Medical Dog

佚名 / Anonymous

The doctors sent my mother home to die. A fifteen-year survivor of breast cancer, she had suffered two heart attacks when advanced cancer was found in her lung.

Mom had struggled to raise three daughters while holding a full-time job, yet worked hard to maintain a cozy home for her family. Growing up, I knew only two things about my mother: She had an iron will, and she loved nature. During her days of illness, she told me a third: "I' ve had a miserable life."

My dad was a difficult man to live with, but my mom did not complain, probably because she could not put words to her own need. But when it came clear that because of her progressive deterioration, my dad regarded her as a burden, she and I decided that she would move to my home.

I had three weeks to make a myriad of arrangements. I changed my work schedule, found transportation, an oncologist, cardiologist, hospice care, medical equipment, a caregiver and bather. My plan for Mom' s final days was simple: she would live with love, and die with grace.

Upon her arrival, after an exhausting five-hour trip, Mom was examined by the home health-care nurse. The nurse took me aside and asked, "How long do you think your mother has?"

"Two, maybe three months. " I said.

The nurse looked at me sadly."Adjust your thinking, " he said."She has a few days, maybe a week. Her heart is weak and unstable."

My home, small and comfortable, was a heaven to four cats and a retriever. The animals had the run of my house.

We installed the electric hospital bed and oxygen machine, which frightened the cats from the bedroom. I' d moved their furniture, and they were peeved. The retriever, on the other hand, an immature dog with bad habits, was excited by all the changes in the house. He jumped up, barked and shed more profusely than usual.

He is Otto who was not afraid of the hospital bed, the oxygen machines or the medical smells. Nor was he afraid of the frail woman who had scolded him. Otto jumped onto the foot of Mom' s hospital bed, and stayed.

He was not startled by the nurses. He did not interfere when Mom was fed, nor when she was transferred from bed to commode and back. Whether the disturbance was from changing her bed or because of bathing, he simply waited to resume his post. With the exception of eating and using the litter box, Otto never left Mom' s room.

Days passed, and Mom started to rally. "Not unusual, " I was told, "a rally is often a sign of imminent death."

I grieved. But Otto would not give her up so easily. He used her improved condition to reposition himself from the foot of her bed to her side. Her thin fingers found his soft coat. He leaned into her body, as if clinging to the threads of her will to live. Though weak, she caressed the dog and would not allow me to take him.

Days turned into weeks and Mom continued to fight. Once, after the nurses had gone for the day, I heard the sound of Mom' s voice coming from her room. I found her with the head of the bed raised. Otto was tucked into the crook of her elbow, listening adoringly as she read from the newspaper. I will forever cherish the memory of Mom' s face with Otto' s paw, claws retracted, caressing the side of her chin.

Eventually, using a walker, Mom began to take walks through the house. She was trailed by oxygen tubing and Otto. Where she rested, Otto rested. Where she moved, Otto shadowed. It seems I had forgotten my Mom was a mother. Somehow, Otto knew, and during those days he became her dog child, giving her life purpose.

Exactly three years have passed since then. The hospital bed and oxygen machine are long gone. The medicines and nurses are gone, too. But Mom' s still here. And so is Otto. And so is the bond that united them in days of sickness.

When we saw the oncologist a while ago, he patted himself on the back. "I can' t believe it, Lula, " he said."I can' t find your cancer and your heart is strong. When your daughter brought you to me, I thought you were a ship that had sailed." We let the doctor think what he likes, but Mom gives the credit to Otto.

Thankfully, my mother has put off dying, and Otto continues to share his gift of love—a medicine more potent than any drug a doctor could prescribe.

医生让母亲在家中度过生命的最后几天。母亲患乳腺癌已有15年了,并且在发现晚期肺癌期间,她还并发过两次心脏病。

母亲做着一份全职工作,含辛茹苦地养大了三个女儿,她还尽力为家人创造一个温馨的家庭。从小到大,我只知道有关母亲的两个特点:她的意志像铁一样坚强,并且,她非常热爱大自然。患病期间,她又告诉了我第三点:“我的一生很悲惨。”

父亲是一个难以相处的人,但母亲从来没有抱怨过,也许是因为她无法用语言完全表达出来吧。但当母亲的病情恶化时,在父亲眼里,她显然是个累赘。于是,我和母亲都决定,母亲搬来和我一起住。

我利用三个星期的时间来安排一切。我更改了工作表,联系运输公司、肿瘤专家、心脏病专家、晚期病人护理机构,联系购买医疗器械,寻找能帮助她洗澡的护理人员。对于母亲最后的日子,我的安排很简单:让她生活在爱中,优雅地离开人世。

坐了五个小时的车,疲惫不堪的母亲到家了。她立刻接受了家庭护士的检查。护士把我叫到一边,问:“你觉得你的母亲还能坚持多久呢?”

我说:“两个月,也可能是三个月。”

护士悲伤地看着我,“你要有思想准备,”他说,“她只有几天的生命了,最多一个星期。她的心脏很衰弱,而且不稳定。”

我这个小而舒服的家,是四只猫和一只狗的天下。

我们安装好医用电动病床和氧气装置之后,那些猫吓得都不敢进卧室了。他们很不高兴,因为我还挪动了他们的用具。对于家里的一系列变化,那只还未成熟并有着坏习惯的狗显得很兴奋,他跳着,叫着,毛也掉得比平时多。

他叫奥托,只有他对医用病床、氧气设备和医药气味无所畏惧。他也不害怕病床上那个虚弱的女人,尽管她曾经呵斥过他。奥托会跳上母亲的床尾,并待在那里。

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