The most frequently expressed complaint men have about women is that women are always trying to change them. When a woman loves a man, she feels responsible to assist him in growing and tries to help him improve the way he does things. She forms the Home Improvement Committee, and he becomes her primary focus. No matter how much he resists her help, she persists, waiting for an opportunity to help him or to tell him what to do. She thinks she’ s nurturing him, while he feels he’ s being controlled. Martians value power, competency, efficiency, and achievement. Their sense of self is defined through their ability to achieve results. Achieving goals is very important to a Martian, because it’ s the way for him to prove his competence and thus feel good about himself. And for him to feel good about himself, he must achieve these goals alone, by himself. To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn’ t know what to do or that he can’ t do it on his own.
Men are very touchy about this, because the issue of competence is so very important to them. However, if he truly does need help, then it’ s a sign of wisdom to get it. In this case, he’ ll find someone he respects and then talk about his problem. Talking about a problem on Mars is an invitation for advice. Another Martian feels honored by the opportunity. Automatically, he puts on his Mr. Fix-it hat, listens for a few beats, and then offers some jewels of advice. This Martian custom is one of the reasons men instinctively offer solutions when a woman talks about her feelings or about her problems.
Venusians have different values. Their sense of self is defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships and their communication. They experience fulfillment through sharing and relating. Communication is of primary importance. To share their personal feelings is much more important than achieving goals or success. Talking and relating to one another is a source of tremendous fulfillment. Instead of being goal-oriented, women are relationship-oriented. They are more concerned with expressing their goodness, their love, their caring. Venusians are very intuitive. They pride themselves on being considerate of the needs and feelings of others. A sign of great love is to offer help and assistance to another Venusian without even being asked. Without this insight into the nature of men, it’ s very easy for a woman to unknowingly and unintentionally hurt and offend the man she loves most.
Love is magical, and it can last if we remember our differences.
设想男人是从火星上来的，女人是从金星上来的。
很久以前的一天，火星人用望远镜眺望远方时，发现了金星人，这匆匆一瞥把火星人心中沉睡的感情唤醒了。他们对这种感情从不知晓。坠入爱河的火星人很快发明了太空旅行，飞往金星。金星上的女人们张开双臂迎接他们的到来。火星男人与金星女人之间的爱情真是奇妙。他们一起愉快地生活，一起工作，同甘共苦，他们都忘了彼此是来自不同的星球，忘了本应具有的差异。一天早晨，火星人和金星人完全忘却了彼此的不同，也就是从那天起，冲突开始在男人与女人之间发生。
女人抱怨最多的是男人不会倾听。当女人说话时，男人不是完全不理睬，就是稍听片刻，掂量一下困扰女人的问题，然后自傲地抛给女人一个解决的办法以安慰她就算了事。无论女人抱怨了多少次，说他没有倾听，他就是不懂，依然故伎重演。女人需要同情，可男人以为她需要的是解决办法。
男人最常抱怨女人总试图改造自己。女人爱上男人时，便觉得帮助他成长是自己的责任，并尽力想帮助男人改进做事的方式。女人成立了家庭促进会，而改进男人就是她的首要目标。无论男人怎样拒绝她的帮助，女人都一再坚持，伺机帮助他或是告诉他该做什么。女人认为自己是在调教男人，而男人却觉得自己被控制了。男人崇尚权力、个人能力和成功。他们本是以取得成功的能力作为给自己的定义的。对他们而言，实现目标举足轻重，因为这能证明他们自身的能力，会让他们有良好的感觉。而男人要想建立良好的自我感觉，就必须独立自主地取得种种成功。在男人看来，女人自作主张提出的建议就是认为他们不知道该做什么，不能凭独自的力量获取胜利。
他们对此很恼火，因为个人能力对于他们非常重要。然而，如果男人确实需要帮助，取得帮助也是明智之举。在这种情况下，他会和一位他所敬重的人谈论自己的困难。男人谈论困难就是请求他人提供建议。被请求的人因此会颇感荣幸，并顺其自然地抒发感想，听对方诉说，然后提供宝贵的建议。男人的这种习惯，在一定程度上导致了他们在倾听女人谈论自己的情感和困惑时，本能地提供解决方案。
女人却对这些不予重视。她们是在感情和与人相处的融洽程度，以及交流中确定自我感觉的。女人在诉说感情和彼此联系中获得满足。交流对于她们至关重要，分担私人感情比达到目的要重要得多，让她们获得满足感的巨大源泉之一就是交谈与联系。男人看重的是目的，女人看重的是关系。她们更注重表达善意、友爱和关怀。女人具有敏锐的直觉，能处处为他人的需求和情感着想是她们引以为豪的事。主动向同伴提供帮助被她们看成是伟大的爱的展示。女人不洞悉男人的天性，就很容易在不知不觉中伤害了自己所挚爱的男人。
爱情神奇而微妙，只有记住男女之间的差异，爱情才会持久。
心灵小语
即使再怎样爱一个人，也要牢记：你们来自不同星球，永远不要试图同化他——也许你可以在某件事情上成功，但代价却是消耗掉他对你的爱。
记忆填空
1. They delighted in being together, doing things____and sharing together. Both the Martians and____forgot that they were from__
planets, and were supposed to be different.
2. No matter how____he resists her help, she persists, waiting for an__ y to help him or to tell him____to do. She thinks she’s nurturing him, while he feels he’s being__ .
3.____is of primary importance. To share their personal feelings is much more____than achieving goals or success.
佳句翻译
1. 金星上的女人们张开双臂迎接他们的到来。
译__________________________
2. 男人看重的是目的，女人看重的是关系。
译__________________________
3. 爱情神奇而微妙，只有记住男女之间的差异，爱情才会持久。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. Either a man completely ignores her when she speaks, or he...
either...or...：要么……要么；不是……就是……
造________________________
2. ...to assist him in growing and tries to help...
assist ... in...：帮助；协助；援助
造________________________
完美爱人
In Life, We are Happiest When...
佚名 / Anonymous
A man and his girlfriend were married. It was a large celebration. All of their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony and to partake of the festivities and celebrations. All had wonderful time.
The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone could tell that the love they had for each other was true.
A few months later, the wife came to the husband with a proposal, “I read in a magazine, a while ago, about how we can strengthen our marriage,” she offered, “Each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk about how we can fix them together and make our lives happier together.”
The husband agreed. So each of them went to a separate room in the house and thought of the things that annoyed them about the other. They thought about this question for the rest of the day and wrote down what they came up with.
The next morning, at the breakfast table, they decided that they would go over their lists.
