I could never replace Meg, I knew that. But I could, perhaps, fill a void in Dad’s life.
I’d never been to an animal home before and wasn’t prepared for the shock. Not only dogs, but cats, a couple of ponies, three pygmy goats and several rabbits wanted new homes.
Two sisters ran the place. Hardly aware of what I was doing, I found myself pouring out my life story to them.
Bahs, one of the two nurses, led me to the end of the row of pens. There, in the very end, I saw Sadie sitting in the corner. She wasn’t sitting quietly. She was howling—a sad, heart-broken noise. As soon as she saw us, she stopped and came over to me, staring at me through the wire. She seemed to be weighing me up.
When I poked my fingers through the bars, she shied away from them. I spoke softly to her, coaxing her to come to me. After what seemed an age, she came forward and licked my fingers.
“She’s very gentle,” I remarked, wondering how she would take to my noisy children. I’d already lost my heart to her in a way I never imagined possible!
“Her owners moved away,” Babs said. “They put her in boarding kennels, saying they’d be back in a week but they never returned. She won’t give her trust easily, but if she’s given enough love—well, who knows?”
“How cruel!” I gasped.“How could they?”
“Oh, it could have been a lot worse,” Babs continued. “She was never physically hurt, but her confidence has taken a terrible battering. She needs constant reassurance and can’t bear to be alone.”
“She’d never be alone,” I said and Sadie wagged her tail as if she understood. “And in our house, believe me, there’s no shortage of love!”
When I got home, Matthew and Laura were out of sight. Dad, as always, was staring into space. He didn’t even bother to read any more, but seemed to spend his whole life just watching time slip away.
“Dad...”
He turned and looked up at me, taking a moment or two to register that I wasn’t alone. I looked at Dad’s face. He stared at the dog and for an awful moment, I thought he was going to reject her. But Dad could never be cruel... he stretched out his hand and called to her.
“Come on, lass,” he said softly. “I won’t hurt you.”
At last, she ventured up to him and sniffed at his blanket.
“What’s her name?” Dad asked me.
“Sadie.”
“Hello, Sadie.”
She sat beside him, pressing against his legs while he stroked her head.He’d never tired of doing that, just as he’d never tired of petting Meg.
“She needs a lot of love,” I said and explained why.
Dad looked really angry for a moment. He could never stand any kind of cruelty, to animals, children or even over adults.
“Well,” he said softly. “We’ll just have to make it up to her. What made you get another dog?”
“Well, I...”
“No, it’s all right.” Dad patted my hand. “I know how you miss Meg. The children do, too. She’ll be company for you and you’ll be able to go for nice long walks again. Perhaps I’ll be able to take a turn with the walks. I don’t intend to spend the rest of my life sitting here!”
It was the first time in months he’d given any thought to the future. It warmed my heart.
“I couldn’t go far at first,” he went on. “But if I gradually build up my strength...”
Matthew and Laura appeared then and Sadie brightened up. She ran to greet them as if they were long-lost friends. When I looked at Dad, he was laughing.
I thought of the people who had abandoned Sadie and wondered if they really knew just what they were missing. It was their loss, our gain. We were her family now and we’d never let her down. I think she knew that.
In fact, in a strange way, Sadie seemed to take over where Meg left off.
Dad didn’t take her out of the garden, but he’d walk up and down with her, chatting all the time. She’d gaze up at him, entranced.
Yesterday marked the anniversary of Meg’s death. A year has passed. A new era has begun.
The children planted some snowdrops beneath the cherry tree, determined that Meg should never be forgotten. We all shed a few tears.
Then the miracle I’d waited so long for happened. Dad walked slowly into the kitchen and took Sadie’s lead down from its hook.
Sadie barked merrily and turned round and round in circles until she almost fell over. She seemed to sense that this was a special occasion.
“Right, anyone coming for a walk?”
He’s only ever walked her round the garden before. Longer walks were left to me or the children. I held my breath.
“I’ll come.” Matthew grabbed for his coat.
“And me.” Laura was already pushing her arms into the sleeves of her Jacket.
I stood at the window and watched their slow progress down the road, Dad in the middle holding tight to Sadie’s lead, a child on either side of him. He got halfway down the road, then stopped. My heart stopped with him.
I held my breath, then realized he’d stopped because he was laughing! He laughed so loud that I could even hear him. Tears ran freely down my face.
I hurried to the hall, pulled my coat from the peg and ran outside.
“Dad!” I yelled.
They stopped and turned.
“Dad,” I called again, feeling all of six years old. “Can I come?”
“The more the merrier,” he called back and held out his arms, just like he used to when I was a little girl.
I ran to him, heart pounding, knowing that this time he wouldn’t be able to lift me and whirl me round.
But as he enfolded me in his arms and hugged me close, the feeling was every bit as good.
“Welcome back, Dad,” I whispered, and he hugged me even tighter.
我一生中最难的事莫过于与梅格的诀别。当我需要它时，它总是来到我的身边，它已成为我生命的一部分。
过去15年里，它一直是我最亲密的朋友，与我同欢乐，共悲伤。
它目睹了我一生中的许多事：结婚、离异、生子、失去母亲以及伺候久病的父亲。
在花园角落里的一棵开满鲜花的樱桃树下，我们安葬了它，那里曾是它最喜欢去的地方。马修用木头做了一个小十字架，劳拉则用红彩笔认真地把它的名字写在上面。
在这种情况下，朋友们总会提出各种建议，其中最多的就是让我再养一条狗。可是梅格这样的朋友是任何狗都无法取代的。
父亲在一次中风后，几乎生活不能自理。不过，在我的照料下，他总算康复了。而现在，我却感到他的状况已大不如从前。
梅格已经走了一个月了，一天，我端着托盘到花园找父亲。他喜欢坐在长椅上晒太阳。
“爸，来点茶和饼干吧！”我兴致勃勃地说。
他怔了一下，立刻背转身去。但他面颊的泪水，还是被我看到了。
“真是个好天气！”我忙找话说，给他时间整理思绪。
“是的，吉尔。”他终于开口了，“是个好天气。”
“吃点吧，爸！”
他叹了口气，然后抬起头，望着天空。
“孩子们快放学了，”我笑着说，“到时你再想吃饼干，就得和他们争了。”
父亲微微地笑了一下，而我强忍着没有哭出声来。
“爸，我爱你。”我把手放在他的肩头，“你要挺住。”
“我不知道你在说什么。”他耸了耸肩。
“不，你知道的。你一直在逐步地与病魔抗争，并正在战胜它。但最近你好像要放弃了。”
他叹了口气，拿起一块饼干，咬了一小口，然后冲我笑了。
父亲的状态也使医生很疑惑。
