登陆注册
6133700000020

第20章 Th e Lang uage o f Compromis e(2)

Natasha is white and her husband is black. What does that make their sonMarcus? The high rates of inter -racial marriages and a growing number of mixed racechildren they produce have recently forced the federal government to rethink the typesof racial classifications it will use in its year 2000 census. Under the pressure frommixed-race Americans and their parents,the census bureau changed its rules to allowpeople to identify themselves by as many as five official racial categories. Manyschools and offices add a new racial category marked “ multi-racial ” to theirapplications and other forms.

As racial concepts in American grow increasingly fluid,it is hard to tell how thechildren of inter -racial union will identify themselves in the future.

C. Post -r eading a ctivity

Figure out the meaning of the italicized words:

1. In Washington D. C. ,a couple like Pakistani-born Jerry Sequeira and his Spanishbornwife Pilar do not turn any heads.

2. It turns out that culturally we are more similar than different in the emphasis on thefamily and get-together and big meals and doing family things and all of yourrelatives and your extended family. And for instance,her family was just visitingfor Christmas and we got along great. And last Christmas we were in Spain and Ifit right in. So there are actually fewer differences culturally than we would havethought.

3. Marriages between people of European and Asian descent are very common in theUnited States. But the most common inter-racial marriages in this country arebetween Hispanics and whites.

4.“ Well,I??ll be very candid. My mom would not have been happy. She justwouldn??t have been. I think she is racist,even though she says she is not,but itwould have been trouble and we would have attracted a lot of attention inMexico. ”

5. While marriages between white people and Asians,Hispanics and even nativeAmericans flourish,not all American are equally open to the ideal of a black andwhite marriage. Indeed,in this picture of racial and ethnic melding ( ) ,African Americans are noticeably under -represented ( ) . According tothe 1990 census,fewer than one in 10 black men and one in 25 black women,aged 25 to 34,take white spouses( ) .

Ⅳ. Fast Read in g

In this part,you are required to read three passages and choose the best answersto the questions after each passage,using the skill you have just learned.

( 1) Couples and Communication

A woman came to a divorce attorney. “ Do you have grounds?” the attorneyasked. “Oh yes,we have half an acre. ”The lawyer paused,then continued. “Doyou have a grudge? ” The woman responded,“ Oh no,we have a carport. ” Indesperation,the attorney plunged ahead,asking,“ Does he beat you up? ” Sheimmediately responded,“ Oh no,I always get up earlier than he does. ” Inexasperation,the lawyer shouted,“Madam,exactly why do you want a divorce? ”

Innocently she replied,“Because it??s impossible to communicate with him! ”

Most of us at some point struggle with communication in our relationships. Andif we??re honest with ourselves,most of the time we think that if only the other personcould communicate better ,everything would be fine. But relationships require theefforts of both parties to remain satisfying. Good relationships rarely just happen.

Even when they seem to start off effortlessly,they change over time,as each partner??sneeds and interests evolve. Successful relationships are those where both partners arehelping each other meet these ever changing goals.

Counselors often ask couples to recall what first attracted them to each other.

Losing track of these foundations takes away from the relationship. Often couplescome together because they see in the other qualities which are lacking in themselves.

Later,precisely because these qualities are different from their own,they become thesource of ir rita tion and tension. Thus,the spouse who initially valued the quietstrength of the other begins to resent the lack of talkativeness and limited need forsocializing.

What was once attractive becomes annoying and is taken as a personal a ffront.Too often it is easier to blame the other than look at one??s own blind spots andchanging expectations. Sometimes we think we are communicating when really we areevaluating and judging.

Couples can always learn new and better ways to listen and communicate. Of course it??s best to start out with good skills in these areas,but the fact is,few folkshave them. We never received the instruction booklet! And you can??t teach old dogsnew tricks. Older couples often surprise themselves with the rapid improvements theymake.

Some basic guidelines for couples who want to communicate more effectivelyinclude:

Set aside a specific time to talk and keep it brief ,not open-ended.

Ask questions aimed at understanding,not at judging.

Don??t make assumptions; check out everything. Don??t mind-read or tell theother what they are thinking or feeling.

Start your sentences with the word“ I”,not“ you”.

Remind each other that your goal is to strengthen the relationship. Remember

you are both on the same side - that of your bond.

Don??t try tackling several subjects at once. It confuses the issue.

Don??t bring other people into the discussion. What they think is not the point.

Thank the other person for trying and caring enough to set the time aside.

If your own attempts to improve communication are repeatedly unsuccessful,perhaps it??s time to consult a counselor . Many times a partner who is initiallyunwilling to go with you will respond positively to changes they see in you and mayfeel more comfortable joining you later. Don??t give up.

1. A woman came to a divorce attorney. “ Do you have grounds? ” the attorneyasked.“Oh yes,we have half an acre. ”The lawyer paused,then continued.“Doyou have a grudge? ”The woman responded,“Oh no,we have a carport. ”Indesperation,the attorney plunged ahead,asking,“Does he beat you up?”

A. judgment B. resentment C. porridge D. gruel

2. But relationships require the efforts of both parties to remain satisfying. Goodrelationships rarely just happen. Even when they seem to start off effortlessly,theychange over time,as each partner??s needs and interests evolve.

同类推荐
  • 如果遇见下一秒的你

    如果遇见下一秒的你

    本书遵循语言学习的自然规律,将英语学习的知识点贯穿在阅读中,并逐一详解,使英语能力在潜移默化中得到槔升!
  • Islaminchina

    Islaminchina

    Asearlyasinthemiddleofthe7thcentury,IslamwasintroducedintoChina.Havingspreadanddevelopedfor1300years,goingthroughtheTang,Song,Yuan,MingandQingdynastiesandtheRepublicPeriod(618-1949A.D.),Islamhasdevelopedmorethan20millionfollowers(Muslims)inChina.
  • 看古希腊神话故事学英语

    看古希腊神话故事学英语

    神话是远古人类思想与生活的反映,是原始信仰的产物。希腊神话故事经历了丰富的时代变迁和历史风云,几乎成为希腊乃至欧洲一切文学和艺术活动的基本素材。马克思曾说:“希腊神话不只是希腊艺术的宝库,而且是它的土壤”。希腊神话也是欧美文艺取之不尽的艺术源泉。希腊神话具有无穷的认识价值和永久的审美魅力。希腊神话还为现代奥林匹克运动会的形成奠定了基础。在古希腊这个神话王国中,优美动人的神话故事和曲折离奇的民间传说为古奥运会的起源蒙上一层神秘的色彩。那些经久不衰的神话故事让我们着迷,那些如雷贯耳的名字至今仍被我们尊为“大师”。时隔千年,希腊神话还对我们产生影响。
  • 从零开始学德语,“袋”着走

    从零开始学德语,“袋”着走

    《从零开始学德语,“袋”着走》恰恰满足了初学者的诉求。不仅封面大方美观,内容更是丰富多彩。从基础字母入门,到日常生活、青春校园、职场风云、特色文化等,几乎涵盖了所有你能想到的,以及你若是有机会去德国旅游、生活或是工作能够用到的各个方面。
  • LivinginChina

    LivinginChina

    ManyChinesefeelliketheyareonanotherplanetwhentheyvisitforeigncountriesofcompletelydifferentcultures.ProbablythesameistruetoforeignerswhovisitChina.
热门推荐
  • 斗罗新传说

    斗罗新传说

    这是原创科幻小说,原创斗罗大陆改写小说,科幻,励志,勇敢,爆笑。和我来到斗罗新传说吧!
  • 枪傲异世

    枪傲异世

    一次好心,一次穿越。谁说鬼手无敌,如今,就让我林凡创造一个属于我们枪手的神话!————林凡意外穿越,身陷万古之局.时断时续的记忆,似是而非的技能……谁能告诉我这究竟是怎么回事……跨过重重迷雾后才发现,事实竟是如此……————————————新人新书,希望能多提些意见。跪拜。
  • 用理智驾驭情感

    用理智驾驭情感

    用理智驾驭情感》讲述了:理智地驾驭情感是一个人走向成熟的重要标志。感情用事者不仅仅会远离成功,还会因为自己的不成熟给别人带去伤害、给自己招来祸端。宽容会让人感动一世,爱意会让人温暖一生。在顺境中感恩,在逆境中依旧身心愉悦,远离愤怒,把持平和,少生气,多喜乐,认真快乐地生活,豁达宽容地处世,用理智赢得快乐的人生。
  • 童话怎会不美好

    童话怎会不美好

    自己喜欢的人也喜欢自己,这就是童话?童话怎会不美好?以此纪念那一段时光,恍若同桌还在身边耳语,诉说着她暗恋的辛酸,恍若年级里还残留着闺蜜和某男生的绯闻,恍若我所追寻的他,还停留在我眸中。
  • 惑国医妃

    惑国医妃

    王妃阮斯容千里走单骑,挽救夫君性命,却被胞妹暗下毒手。四年后,药王谷楚绿衣携女到京城,开设医馆寻访身世,妙手仁心震天下!谜底一步步揭开,这天下第一医,与昔日被谋害的王妃存在何种瓜葛?斗太后贵妃,斗白莲花绿茶婊!医手翻天!前有王爷虐心,后有品种不一的帅哥纠缠!失忆?别急,谈医论药,看她如何在国与家的战火中杀出一条血路!
  • 卿卿相胤

    卿卿相胤

    嫡妹为了心爱的男人,将祸事嫁祸给她,为了妹妹的幸福,她忍了。可最后妹妹还是不满意,她心疼她,却身死刀下。重生异世,拥有了亲情,友情,还有他给她的爱情。让她有了勇气,有了气力,来面对未来的重重危险,纵使是前面是敌军重重,也不再是她一人面对,万丈悬崖,也会有个他和她一起跳下……
  • 蹲下来和孩子一起看世界

    蹲下来和孩子一起看世界

    本书讲述了教师工作具有极强的艺术性。而对于孩子,也就是那些中小学生来说,由他们的本身特点及身心发展规律所决定,老师又必须要能抓住这些孩子的特点,避免成人化的教育方式。因此,老师在教育时,必须要能“蹲下自己的身子”。《蹲下来和孩子一起看世界》吸收了近几年教学实践中的经典案例以及中外教育的各种优势,对“蹲下来”的教育方式进行精辟的阐释,相信对广大教育工作者会大有裨益。
  • 美女驱魔师:师父赖上门

    美女驱魔师:师父赖上门

    “说你爱我。”她一脸无语地看着他:“师父,强扭的瓜不甜。”“嗯,你说得也有道理,不过不甜也总比没有好!”“……”“大冬天的,一个人睡觉好冷,去给为师暖床。”“师父,我是来学技术,学驱魔的,不是来暖床的。”“暖床也是一门技术,多少成功的女人都是从暖床做起的。”“修炼之人,不都是四大皆空,六根清净的吗?我就想学点驱魔捉鬼之术。”“那是从前,现在的出家之人哪个不是人手一个苹果,开着宝马奔驰,住着风水最好的,空气最新鲜的黄金地地,个个酒肉穿肠过,佛祖心中坐,为师甚是惭愧,也就拥有这一座山,一家客栈而已。”“尼玛!师父,原来你是土豪啊!”“淡定。”
  • 大牌神女

    大牌神女

    立志做个正派人士,无奈邪魔外道总找上门来。那啥,魔尊大人,怕了你还不行么?求……放……过……
  • 古宅咒怨

    古宅咒怨

    一群大学女生来到了一座荒废的古宅,然后704室的女生开始相继死亡。法医的鉴定是自杀,但罗泯哲却深深怀疑。在查案的过程中惊讶地发现20年前,就在同一所校园内竟发生过相似的死亡案件。这是诅咒?还是阴谋?等待着他们的会是更大的灾难。在危机四伏的环境中罗泯哲要如何找出实事的真相?如此奇异的案件又将他们带领至如何奇异的历史。