Images of PerfectionAlmost all of us have images of how life should be．The problem，of course，is that only rarely do peoples jobs，spouses and children live up to these imagined ideals．Heres a personal example：no one in my family had ever divorced．I assumed that marriage was for life．So when my wife and I divorced after five years of marriage and three years after the birth of our son，my world collapsedcollapse vi.倒塌， 崩溃， 瓦解， 失败 ．I was a failure in my own eyes．I later remarried and confided to my wife that I couldnt shake the feeling that my family life had failed．
She asked me what was wrong with our family now（which included her daughter from a previous marriage and my son）．I had to admit that，aside fromaside from adv.除……以外 the pain of being with my son only half the time （my exwife and I shared custody），our family life was wonderful．
当时，我感觉自己像个傻子，认为在他的生活中根本就不存在不快乐的事情。
想像中的完美我们所有的人几乎都想像生活应该是什么样。而问题就在于人们的工作、配偶以及孩子常常难于达到想像中的理想标准。就拿我来说：在我的家里从未有人离过婚。我想婚姻是为了生活。而当妻子与我婚后五年，儿子３岁时，我们离婚了，我的世界崩溃了。在我自己的眼里，我是个失败者。后来我再婚了，我向妻子承认我无法从“我的家庭生活是失败的”这种感觉中摆脱出来。
她问我，我们现在的家（包括她与前夫生的女儿和我的儿子）出了什么问题？我不得不承认，除了苦于只能一半时间跟儿子（我和前妻共同监护）在一起之外，我们的家庭生活很精彩。
“Then why dont you celebrate it？”she asked．Thats what I decided to do．But first I had to get rid of a “perfect” family．
“Missing Tiletile n.瓦片， 瓷砖 ”Syndrome One effective way of destroying happiness is to look at something and focus on even the smallest flaw．Its like looking at the tiled ceiling and concentrating on the space where one tile is missing．As a bald man told me ，“whenever I enter a room，all I see is hair．”
Once youve determined what your missing tile is，explore whether acquiring it will really make you happy．Then do one of the three things：get it，replace it with a different tile，or forget about it and focus on the tiles in your life that are not missing．
We all know people who have had a relatively easy life yet are essentially unhappy．And we know people who have suffered a great deal but generally remain happy．
“那你为什么不为这种生活而庆祝呢？”她问道。那正是我决定要做的。但首先我得摆脱“完美家庭”这种幻想。
“缺瓦”综合征破坏快乐的一种有效办法是：只看某事的坏处，甚至只把注意力集中在最细小的缺陷上。这就像看瓦房顶一样，只注意那缺瓦的地方。就像一位秃顶的先生告诉我说：“不论何时我进入一个房间，我所看到的都是头发。”
当你确定了你丢失的那片瓦是何物时，探究一下获得它是否将真的会使你快乐，接下来做下面三件事中的一件：拿回那片瓦；重新换一块瓦；或者忘掉它，集中注意在你生活中那些没有丢失的瓦。
在我们所有认识的人中，有过着相对安定生活却一点不快乐的，也有经历了巨大痛苦却仍然快乐的。
The first secret is gratitudegratitude n.感谢的心情 ．All happy people are grateful．Ungrateful people cannot be happy．We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to complain，but its truer to say that complaining leads to people becoming unhappy．
The second secret is realizing that happiness is a byproductbyproduct n.副产品 of something else．The most obvious sources are those pursuits that give our lives purpose—anything from studying insects to playing baseball．The more passions we have，the more happiness we are likely to experience．
Finally，the belief that something permanentpermanent adj.永久的， 持久的 transcendstranscend vt.超越， 胜过 us and that our existence has some larger meaning can help us be happier．We need a spiritual faith，or a philosophy of life．
第一秘方是感恩的心。所有快乐的人是心怀感恩的心。没有感恩之心的人不会能快乐。我们倾向于认为，不快乐会致使人们抱怨，但更确切的说，抱怨致使人们不快乐。
第二秘方是，认识快乐是其他事情的副产品，其最明显的来源是那些赋予我们生活追求的事情——从研究昆虫到打棒球的任何一件事。我们付出的激情越多，我们体验到的快乐可能就越多。
最后，要有一种永恒超越自我的信念，这样我们存在就有更大意义，这种信念能让我们更快乐。我们需要一种精神信仰或人生哲学。
Whatever your philosophy，it should include this truismtruism n.真实性 ：if you choose to find the positive in virtually every situation，you will be blessed，and if you choose to find the awful ，you will be cursed．As with happiness itself，this is largely your decision to make．
无论你有着怎样的人生哲学，它应该含有这样的真理：如果你只注意每种境遇的积极面（事实上都有），你就会得福；如果你只注意其消极面，你就会受苦。如对快乐本身而言，这主要由你自己来决定。
快乐是我们生活的动力，任何时候我们都不能失去乐观的心情。无论我们人生路上遇到多大的困难和挫折，我们都不能失去对生活的热情。生命给了我们一次旅行的机会，我们要好好珍惜和把握。在不断奋斗中，紧握快乐航标，微笑着去面对生活中纷繁和芜杂，永不停歇激情步伐，主宰自己的命运。快乐着，感恩着，我们的生活才会有更多期待的美好。
