“‘听着，’我说，‘我不论到什么地方，医药学会总是跟我找麻烦。我并不行医。但是为了救你一命，我可以替你做精神治疗，只要你以镇长的身份保证不追究执照的事。’
“‘Of course I will.’ says he. ‘And now get to work， doc， for them pains are coming on again.’
“‘当然可以。’他说。请你赶快做吧，大夫，因为疼痛又发作了。”
“‘My fee will be 250.00， cure guaranteedguarantee n.保证， 保证书， 担保， 抵押品 vt.保证， 担保 in two treatments.’ says I.
“‘我的费用是二百五十块钱，治疗两次包好。’我说。
“‘All right.’ says the Mayor. ‘Ill pay it. I guess my lifes worth that much.’
“‘好吧，’镇长说，‘我会付的。我想我这条命还值二百五十块。’
“I sat down by the bed and looked him straight in the eye.
“我在床边坐了下来，目不转睛地盯着他的眼睛。
“‘Now，’ says I， ‘get your mind off the disease. You aint sick. You havent got a heart or a clavicle or a funny bone or brains or anything. You havent got any pain. Declare error. Now you feel the pain that you didnt have leaving， dont you？’
“‘现在，’我说，‘你不要把心思放在病痛上。你没有生病。你根本没有心脏、锁骨、尺骨端、头脑，什么也没有。你没有任何疼痛。否定一切。现在你觉得本来就不存在的疼痛逐渐消失了，是吗？’
“‘I do feel some little better， doc，’ says the Mayor， ‘darned if I dont. Now state a few lies about my not having this swelling in my left side， and I think I could be proppedprop n.支持者， 倚靠人， 道具， 螺旋桨 vt.支撑， 维持 up and have some sausage and buckwheat cakes.’
“‘我确实觉得好了些，大夫，’镇长说，‘的确如此。现在请你再撒几句谎，说我左面没有肿胀，我想我就可以跳起来吃些香肠和荞麦饼了。’
“I made a few passes with my hands.
“我用手按摩了几下。
“‘Now，’ says I， ‘the inflammationinflammation n.怒火， 发火， 燃烧， ［医］炎症， 发炎 has gone. The right lobe of the perihelionperihelion n.［天］近日点 has subsided. Youre getting sleepy. You cant hold your eyes open any longer. For the present the disease is checked. Now， you are asleep.’
“‘现在，’我说，‘炎症已经好了。近日点的右叶已经消退了。你觉得睡迷迷的了。你的眼睛睁不开了。目前毛病已经止住。现在你睡着了。’
“The Mayor shut his eyes slowly and began to snoresnore v.打鼾， 打着鼾渡过(时间)
n.打鼾， 鼾声.
“镇长慢慢闭上眼睛，打起鼾来。
“‘You observe， Mr. Tiddle，’ says I， ‘the wonders of modern science.’
“‘铁德尔先生，’我说，‘你亲眼看到了现代科学的奇迹。’
“‘Biddle，’ says he， ‘When will you give uncle the rest of the treatment， Dr. Poohpooh？’
“‘比德尔，’他说，‘你什么时候给叔叔做剩下的治疗，波波大夫？’
“‘Waughhoo，’ says I. ‘Ill come back at eleven tomorrow. When he wakes up give him eight drops of turpentine and three pounds of steak. Good morning.’
“‘沃胡。’我纠正说。‘我明天上午十一点钟再来。他醒后，给他吃八滴松节油和三磅肉排。再见。’
“The next morning I was back on time. ‘Well， Mr. Riddle，’ says I， when he opened the bedroom door. ‘and how is uncle this morning？’
“第二天上午我准时到了那里。‘好啊，立德尔先生，’他打开卧室房门时，我说，‘你舅舅今早晨怎么样？’
“‘He seems much better，’ says the young man.
“‘他仿佛好多啦。’那个年轻人说。
“The mayors color and pulse was fine. I gave him another treatment， and he said the last of the pain left him.
“镇长的气色和脉搏都很好。我再替他做了一次治疗，他说疼痛完全没有了。
“‘Now，’ says I， ‘youd better stay in bed for a day or two， and youll be all right. Its a good thing I happened to be in Fisher Hill， Mr. Mayor，’ says I， ‘for all the remediesremedy n.药物， 治疗法， 补救， 赔偿 vt.治疗， 补救，矫正， 修缮， 修补 in the cornucopia that the regular schools of medicine use couldnt have saved you. And now that error has flew and pain proved a perjurer， lets allude to a cheerfuller subject—say the fee of 250. No checks， please， I hate to write my name on the back of a check almost as bad as I do on the front.’
“‘现在，’我说，‘你最好在床上躺一两天，就没事啦。我碰巧到了费希尔山，也是你的运气，镇长先生，’我说，‘因为正规医师所用的一切药都救不了你。现在毛病既然好了，疼痛也没有了，不妨让我们来谈谈比较愉快的话题——也就是那二百五十块钱的费用。不要支票，对不起，我不喜欢在反面签具背书，正如不喜欢在正面签发支票一样。’
“‘Ive got the cash here.’ says the mayor， pulling a pocket book from under his pillow.
“‘我这儿有现钞。’镇长从枕头底下摸出一只皮夹子，说道。
“He counts out five fiftydollar notes and holds em in his hand.
“他数出五张五十元的钞票，捏在手里。
“‘Bring the receiptreceipt n.收条， 收据， 收到 v.收到.’ he says to Biddle.
“‘把收据拿来。’他对比德尔说。
“I signed the receipt and the mayor handed me the money. I put it in my inside pocket careful.
“我签了收据，镇长把钱交给了我。我小心翼翼地把它们放在贴身的口袋里。
“‘Now do your duty， officer.’ says the mayor， grinning much unlike a sick man.
“‘现在你可以执行你的职务啦，警官。’镇长笑嘻嘻地说，一点不像是害病的人。
“Mr. Biddle lays his hand on my arm.
“比德尔先生圈住我的胳臂。
“‘Youre under arrest， Dr. Waughhoo， alias Peters，’ says he， ‘for practising medicine without authority under the State law.’
“‘你被捕了，沃胡大夫，别名彼得斯，’他说，‘罪名是违犯本州法律，无照行医。’
“‘Who are you？’ I asks.
“‘你是谁呀？’我问。
“‘Ill tell you who he is.’ says Mr. Mayor， sitting up in bed. ‘Hes a detectivedetective n.侦探 adj.侦探的 employed by the State Medical Society. Hes been following you over five counties. He came to me yesterday and we fixed up this scheme to catch you. I guess you wont do any more doctoring around these parts， Mr. Fakir. What was it you said I had， doc？’ the mayor laughs， ‘compound—well， it wasnt softening of the brain， I guess， anyway.’
“‘我告诉你他是谁。’镇长在床上坐起来说。‘他是州医药学会雇用的侦探。他跟踪你，走了五个县。昨天他来找我，我们定下这个计谋来抓你。我想你不能在这一带行医了，骗子先生。你说我害的是什么病呀，大夫？’镇长哈哈大笑说，‘斑秃——总之我想不是脑筋失灵吧。’
“‘A detective.’ says I.
“‘侦探。’我说。
“‘Correct，’ says Biddle， ‘Ill have to turn you over to the sheriff.’
“‘不错，’比德尔说，‘我得把你移交给司法官。’
“‘Lets see you do it.’ says I， and I grabs Biddle by the throat and half throws him out the window， but he pulls a gun and sticks it under my chin， and I stand still. Then he puts handcuffs on me， and takes the money out of my pocket.
“‘你敢。’我说着突然卡住比德尔的脖子，几乎要把他扔出窗外。但是他掏出一把手枪，抵着我的下巴，我只好放老实了，一动不动。他铐住我的手，从我口袋里掏出了那笔钱。
“‘I witness，’ says he， ‘that theyre the same bank bills that you and I marked， Judge Banks. Ill turn them over to the sheriffsheriff n.郡治安官， 州长 when we get to his office， and hell send you a receipt. Theyll have to be used as evidence in the case.’
“‘我证明，’他说，‘这就是你我做过记号的钞票，班克斯法官。我把他押到司法官的办公室时，把这钱交给司法官，由他出一张收据给你。审理本案时，要用它作物证。’
“‘All right， Mr. Biddle.’ says the mayor. ‘And now， Doc Waughhoo，’ he goes on， ‘why dont you demonstratedemonstrate vt.示范， 证明， 论证 vi.示威？ Cant you pull the cork out of your magnetism with your teeth and hocuspocus them handcuffshandcuffs n.手铐 off？’
“‘没关系，比德尔先生。’镇长说。‘现在，沃胡大夫，’他接着说，‘你干吗不施展法力呢？你干吗不施出你的催眠术，把手铐催开呀？’
“‘Come on， officer.’ says I， dignified. ‘I may as well make the best of it.’ And then I turns to old Banks and rattlesrattle v.发出咔哒声， 喋喋不休， 急忙地做 n.咔吱声，喋喋不休的人 my chains.
“‘走吧，警官。’我大大咧咧地说。‘我认啦。’接着我咬牙切齿地转向老班克斯。
“‘Mr. Mayor，’ says I， ‘the time will come soon when youll believe that personal magnetismmagnetism n.磁， 磁力， 吸引力， 磁学 is a success. And youll be sure that it succeeded in this case， too.’
“‘镇长先生，’我说，‘用不了多久，你就会发现催眠术是成功的。你应当知道，在这件事上也是成功的。’
“And I guess it did.
“我想这件事会成功的。
“When we got nearly to the gate， I says： ‘We might meet somebody now， Andy. I reckon you better take ’em off， and—’ Hey？ Why， of course it was Andy Tucker. That was his scheme； and thats how we got the capital to go into business together.”
“我们走到大门口时，我说：‘现在我们也许会碰到什么人，安迪。我想你还是把手铐解掉的好，——’哈？当然啦，比德尔就是安迪·塔克。那是他出的主意；我们就这样搞到了合伙做买卖的本钱。”
