登陆注册
26292600000002

第2章 PREFACE.(2)

Say what they will, ladies do not like you to smoke in their bedrooms: their silly little noses scent out the odor upon the chintz, weeks after you have left them. Sir John has been caught coming to bed particularly merry and redolent of cigar-smoke; young George, from Eton, was absolutely found in the little green-house puffing an Havana; and when discovered they both lay the blame upon Fitz-Boodle. "It was Mr. Fitz-Boodle, mamma," says George, "who offered me the cigar, and I did not like to refuse him." "That rascal Fitz seduced us, my dear," says Sir John, "and kept us laughing until past midnight." Her ladyship instantly sets me down as a person to be avoided. "George," whispers she to her boy, "promise me on your honor, when you go to town, not to know that man." And when she enters the breakfast-room for prayers, the first greeting is a peculiar expression of countenance, and inhaling of breath, by which my lady indicates the presence of some exceedingly disagreeable odor in the room. She makes you the faintest of curtsies, and regards you, if not with a "flashing eye," as in the novels, at least with a "distended nostril."

During the whole of the service, her heart is filled with the blackest gall towards you; and she is thinking about the best means of getting you out of the house.

What is this smoking that it should be considered a crime? I believe in my heart that women are jealous of it, as of a rival.

They speak of it as of some secret, awful vice that seizes upon a man, and makes him a pariah from genteel society. I would lay a guinea that many a lady who has just been kind enough to rend the above lines lays down the book, after this confession of mine that I am a smoker, and says, "Oh, the vulgar wretch!" and passes on to something else.

The fact is, that the cigar IS a rival to the ladies, and their conqueror too. In the chief pipe-smoking nations they are kept in subjection. While the chief, Little White Belt, smokes, the women are silent in his wigwam; while Mahomet Ben Jawbrahim causes volumes of odorous incense of Latakia to play round his beard, the women of the harem do not disturb his meditations, but only add to the delight of them by tinkling on a dulcimer and dancing before him. When Professor Strumpff of Gottingen takes down No. 13 from the wall, with a picture of Beatrice Cenci upon it, and which holds a pound of canaster, the Frau Professorin knows that for two hours Hermann is engaged, and takes up her stockings and knits in quiet.

The constitution of French society has been quite changed within the last twelve years: an ancient and respectable dynasty has been overthrown; an aristocracy which Napoleon could never master has disappeared: and from what cause? I do not hesitate to say,--FROM THE HABIT OF SMOKING. Ask any man whether, five years before the revolution of July, if you wanted a cigar at Paris, they did not bring you a roll of tobacco with a straw in it! Now, the whole city smokes; society is changed; and be sure of this, ladies, a similar combat is going on in this country at present between cigar-smoking and you. Do you suppose you will conquer? Look over the wide world, and see that your adversary has overcome it.

Germany has been puffing for threescore years; France smokes to a man. Do you think you can keep the enemy out of England? Psha! look at his progress. Ask the clubhouses, Have they smoking-rooms or not? Are they not obliged to yield to the general want of the age, in spite of the resistance of the old women on the committees?

I, for my part, do not despair to see a bishop lolling out of the "Athenaeum" with a cheroot in his mouth, or, at any rate, a pipe stuck in his shovel-hat.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 关东旧话

    关东旧话

    永夜驼铃传塞上,极天树影递关东。这里是塞外东北,那个生机盎然‘棒打狍子瓢舀鱼,野鸡飞到饭锅里’的世界…………
  • 黑暗中的复仇之花

    黑暗中的复仇之花

    时间改变了我的一切,藏自己之名,用她人之姓。“你恨我吗?”东方圣看着躺在床上的女人,眼睛里闪烁着一丝后悔和心疼。“早就知道会是这个结果,又何来恨你之说?我只恨自己不果断,在没有爱上你之前就结束这一切!”女孩脸上洋溢着笑容,忘记了什么时候出现过的笑容。女孩微笑着闭上了眼睛,了结了今生的孽缘。却不知还有更多的事情在他的意料之外......在本书中,如有不专业的术语,用词等,还请见谅!本书纯属虚构!QQ群:279512998(群名称:黑暗中的复仇之花)加群验证消息请写作者名字!
  • 六道决

    六道决

    神魔之手,逆天而施,六道常伦,尽毁一旦。杨陌不过是一个普通的村里孩子,然而他做梦也没想到,这场前辈们口中传说已久的大动乱竟然和自己息息相关。所谓今世之果,前世之因,福祸报业生世纠缠,孰是孰非,谁又能说得清楚?也罢,你若撒野,今生我把酒奉陪!**********************************************************本书已结,新书《鸿坤衍武》还望各位支持!下有直通车,点击可进。
  • 校园幽灵:恶魔补习班

    校园幽灵:恶魔补习班

    地下十三楼的补习班、天黑开始的课程、暴虐冷酷的补习名师、听都没听过的课程,以及──号称人满为患但一个影子也看不到的学生?除了胆小外,平凡到极点的唐芯苗,竟然误闯与众不同、世界上独一无二的「恶鬼补习班」……
  • 暗黑破坏神3之崛起

    暗黑破坏神3之崛起

    等了无数年,从自己是个孩子,等到自己有了孩子,终于等到暗黑3进驻中国。献给所有热爱暗黑的朋友。本文非数据流,着重装备、技能的搭配,萌新看了涨姿势,大神看了有不认同的地方,可以一起探讨。另外……带刷大小米啦……收藏推荐了,书评联系我。QQ群:169594484
  • 黑篮,赤黑,做我的人,可好

    黑篮,赤黑,做我的人,可好

    文案:你赢,我陪你君临天下;你输,我陪你东山再起。繁华落尽,岁月静好,你若安好,便是晴天。流年似水,画意诗歌,此生惟愿,君能安康。
  • 《宿命约定的执迷沉沦》

    《宿命约定的执迷沉沦》

    两个世界中,她必须要选择一个世界寻找半生的的依靠。少女到了该离开的时刻,在那从没去过却恍如前世般的世界,意外出现在她身边的那个人,是她该永世相伴的人,她却不知。在这个世界安全感固执的缺乏着,要保自身还要清楚自己来这个世界的意义,便让一幕幕是是非非上演,她来这的意义总被耽搁发现。她来这的意义便是一世沉沦,与他在这碧海青山间生死相依,共创一世繁华。是因为宿命的轮回还是永恒不变的约定,不管你身在何方我都会让你在我身边相濡以沫,与你一起沉沦世间。
  • 南归

    南归

    周诚笙爱徐暮凝很多年,徐暮凝爱周诚笙也有很多年。于是,很多年很多年,加在一起,就是两个人的所有青春。可是,他们最终却还是没能在一起。当时光让我们再次重逢,你还不会是窗边那个静静看书的少年?当你的身影消失在我眼前,青春年华中的那个不小心被我弄丢的少女,还会不会从时光的回廊中缓缓走出来?而当新欢和旧爱狭路相逢,又是谁胜谁负?情节虚构,切勿模仿
  • 北宋猫轶闻

    北宋猫轶闻

    当千年后做贼的“玉猫”遇上了千年前捉贼的“御猫”,他们之间会撞出什么样的火花还很难确定,但是,有一点是可以肯定的,那就是某只姓白的小老鼠——你死定了!PS:7月PK中,请多多支持
  • 我的离奇手表穿越

    我的离奇手表穿越

    一个手表,带来一个孩子的奇妙旅程,假想如果他进入了【美国队长】里孩子会怎样,如果他穿入【海贼王】会怎样,一切尽在【我的离奇穿越】