Now that doesn' t sound like a very tough assignment, until you stop to realize that most of the men in that group were over 35 and were raised in the generation of men that were taught that expressing emotions was not encouraged. Showing feelings or crying was just not done. So this was a very threatening assignment for some.
At the beginning of our next class, I asked if someone wanted to share what happened when they told someone they loved them. I fully expected one of the women to volunteer, as was usually the case, but on this evening one of the men raised his hand. He appeared quite moved and a bit shaken.
As he unfolded out of his chair, he began by saying, "Dennis, I was quite angry with you last week when you gave us this assignment. I didn' t feel that I had anyone to say those words to, and besides, who were you to tell me to do something that personal? But as I began driving home my conscience started talking to me. It was telling me that I knew exactly who I needed to say 'I love you' to. You see, five years ago, my father and I had a vicious disagreement and really never resolved it since that time. We avoided seeing each other unless we absolutely had to at Christmas or other family gatherings. But even then, we hardly spoke to each other. So, last Tuesday by the time I got home I had convinced myself I was going to tell my father I loved him.
"It' s weird, but just making that decision seemed to lift a heavy load off my chest.
"When I got home, I rushed into the house to tell my wife what I was going to do. She was already in bed, but I woke her up anyway. When I told her, she didn' t just get out of bed, she catapulted out and hugged me, and for the first time in our married life she saw me cry. We stayed up half the night drinking coffee and talking. It was great!
"The next morning I was up bright and early. I was so excited I could hardly sleep. I got to the office early and accomplished more in two hours than I had the whole day before.
"It was 9:00. I called my dad to see if I could come over after work. When he answered the phone, I just said, ' Dad, can I come over after work tonight? I have something to tell you.' My dad responded with a grumpy, ' For what?' I assured him it wouldn' t take long, so he finany agreed.
"It' s 5:30, I was at my parents' house ringing the doorbell, praying that Dad would answer the door. I was afraid if Mom answered that I would chicken out and tell her instead. But as luck would have it, Dad did answer the door.
"I didn' t waste any time. I took one step in the door and said, 'Dad, I just came over to tell you that I love you.' "It was as if a transformation came over my dad. Before my eyes his face softened, the wrinkles seemed to disappear and he began to cry. He reached out and hugged me and said, 'I love you too, son, but I' ve never been able to say it.'
"It was such a precious moment I didn' t want to move. Mom walked by with tears in her eyes. I just waved and blew her a kiss. Dad and I hugged for a moment longer and then I left. I hadn' t felt that great in a long time.
"But that' s not even my point. Two days after that visit, my dad, who had heart problems, but didn' t tell me, had an attack and ended up in the hospital, unconscious. I don' t know if he' ll make it.
"My message to all of you in this is: Don' t wait to do the things you know need to be done. What if I had waited to tell my dad? Maybe I will never get the chance again! Take the time to do what you need to do and do it now!"
我在一个成人班里教书。最近，我做了一件“不可饶恕”的事情。我给学生们布置了作业，要求他们在下周之内到他们所爱的人家中去，并对他们所爱的人说“我爱你”。他们所要诉说的对象必须是他先前没有对其说过这三个字的人，或者至少是好长时间没有说过的。
这些学生都是35岁以上的成年人，而且是受过不鼓励表达情感教育的一代。在你意识到这些之前，你会认为这项工作听上去并不难做。然而，在他们先前的教育中，流露情感或落泪都是不可以做的事情，那么说出这三个字，对于某些人来说，将是一个极其艰巨的任务。
下节课刚一开始，我便询问是否有愿意与大家一起分享一下，在他向所爱的人说出那三个字时发生的故事。我满心以为会有一位女士愿意这样做，因为这也是以往的惯例。然而，在这个傍晚，却是一位男士举起了手。他显得很激动，甚至有些激动得发抖。
他从椅子上站起来说：“丹尼斯，上个星期你为我们布置这项作业时，我很生你的气。我觉得我没有可以诉说‘我爱你' 这三个字的人。而且，你是，凭什么要求我们做这种私事？但是，当我开车回家的时候，我的良心开始受到谴责。它对我说，我很清楚我需要向说‘我爱你'。要知道，五年前，我与父亲发生了争执，我们的矛盾到现在也没有真正解决。平日里我们尽可能避免见面，除非是在圣诞节或者其他家庭聚会上，我们才迫不得已相见。但是，即便是在那种聚会上，我们也几乎不与对方说上一句话。所以，到上周二回家的时候，我已经确定自己会对父亲说我爱他。
“太神奇了，仅仅是作出了这个决定，就似乎减轻了我胸口处的重压。
“回到家后，我冲进房间，把准备要做的事情告诉妻子。妻子已经睡下，但是我无论如何还是把她叫醒了。当我把这件事告诉给她的时候，她激动地跳下床，拥抱着我。在我们的婚姻生活中，妻子第一次看到我哭了。大半个夜晚，我们都在边喝咖啡边交谈着。那种感觉太美妙了！
“第二天早晨，我醒得很早，心情也很不错。我兴奋地简直无法入睡。我早早地到了办公室，并用两个小时的时间做完了比以往一天里所完成的工作还要多的事情。
“9点钟的时候，我给父亲打了一个电话，询问下班后我能否过去一趟。父亲接电话时，我在电话里只是说：‘爸，今天晚上下班后我可不可以过去一趟？我有点儿事情要对您说。' 父亲没好气地问道：‘有什么事情啊？' 我向他保证说不会占用他太长时间，他才终于同意。
“下午5点半，我站在了父母的家门前。我一边按响门铃，一边祈祷是父亲来开门。我担心，如果是母亲来开门，我会因为胆怯而放弃本的打算，而转而对她说了那三个字。不过，我很幸运，是父亲来开了门。
“我没有丝毫的犹豫，跨进房门一步便对他说：‘爸，我来就是想告诉您“我爱您”。父亲身上似乎发生了一种转变。眼前的父亲脸色变得温和了，皱纹似乎也不见了，而且哭了起来。他伸出双臂，将我拥在怀里说道：‘儿子，我也爱你，但是我从来都没有说过。’
“那一刻是如此珍贵，我一动也不想动。母亲含着泪花走到我们身旁。我只是朝她挥挥手，给了她一个飞吻。父亲和我又拥抱了一会儿后，我离开了。好久没这么动情了！
“然而，这并不是我要说的重点。两天后，父亲心脏病突发，在医院里不省人事。父亲早就有心脏病，但他一直没有告诉我。我不知道他能否挺过来。
“借着这件事，我想告诉在座的各位：对于你知道需要做的事情，不要一等再等。如果我拖下来，没有告诉父亲我爱他，结果会怎样？或许我再也没有机会了。抓紧时间做你要做的事情吧！现在就做！”
父亲的等待
A Dance with Dad
佚名 / Anonymous
I am dancing with my father at my parents' 50th-wedding-anniversary celebration. The band is playing an old-fashioned waltz as we move gracefully across the floor. His hand on my waist is as guiding as it always was，and he hums the tune to himself in a steady, youthful way. Around and around we go, laughing and nodding to the other dancers.
We are the best dancers on the floor, they tell us. My father squeezes my hand and smiles at me. All the years that I refused to dance with him melt away now. And those early times come back.
